Lie To Me | Jikook

Chapter 13

Jimin POV

Running a hand through my hair, I find myself completely ignoring whatever the hell is being taught in class right now. I'm much too distracted by so many things right now, a headache that's long been pounding away ever since I walked away from Yoongi up on the roof.

I'm at such a loss as to what the hell is happening with my life anymore, and the more things become twisted, the more I'd rather just fucking end it all. I'm so fucking terrified of any wrong turn I may make anymore. I don't want to lose Yoongi as one of my best friends, I don't want to lose my relationship with Jungkook, I don't want to let my father down but also desperately want the abuse to fucking end. I want to be able to be my fucking self and not have to pretend that I'm all fucking okay these days when I'm not. When I'd rather just lay in fucking bed all day rather than come to school.

Hell, it's half the reason I was so late today. Between just how much I'm still hurting from last night, and then just how scared I am of everything falling apart anymore, I couldn't manage to drag my ass out of bed on time. Instead, I laid in bed and stared up at the fucking ceiling in terror. I know my life is on the very edge of completely falling to hell, to falling to pieces, so close to going to complete shit. I'm just waiting for someone to walk up to me and inform me that I can finally stop pretending because they finally shot enough fucking bullets in my mask.

Pursing my lips, I shake my head at myself, running my hand through my hair once more before letting out a quiet breathless and humorless laugh under my breath. I know I'm going to have to pay the doctors office a little visit here shortly if I want to even think about staying afloat in this shitty hellhole they call life.

"Everything okay, Jiminie?" Jungkook murmurs from beside me. I roll my eyes before looking over at him, not being able to help myself. Giving him a short smile, I look back over to the front of the class even though I still have no fucking clue as to what the hell is happening anymore.

"Everything's great, sweetheart. When are you gonna learn to listen to me and stop worrying your pretty little mind so much?" I tell him quietly without looking back to him. I notice him frown from my side, reaching over and placing a gentle hand onto my shoulder.

"Jimin, you know you can talk to me if something's wrong, right?" He questions softly, a concerned look in his eyes. Sighing in annoyance to myself at his much too close observations, I fake another smile as I look back over to him. Reaching up, I cup his cheek lightly before leaning over and pecking his lips.

"Baby, I promise, you've got nothing to worry about. Everything is perfectly fine, Jungkookie. Stop worrying that pretty little head of yours." I murmur softly before pecking his lips once more and then pulling away. He sighs with a tiny frown before it turns into a small smile.

"I'm not gonna stop worrying about you, Jiminie. But, I suppose I'll believe you this time." Jungkook mumbles softly with his sweet smile. I just fake a grin at him, reaching up to ruffle his hair lightly.

With that, Jungkook turns his attention back to the class and our teacher. I sigh in relief under my breath, leaning back against the back of my chair once more as I grow absorbed back into my thoughts.

Biting my lip, my mind begins to wander back through a million things.

I truly hate having to be this way with him. With Jungkook. I've never wanted to be with someone more than I do with Kookie, and yet I know it'll never happen. I know he'll never want anything to do with me again after he finds out about the bet. I know he'll run and never look back as soon as he finds out. And even if he didn't, he still doesn't know the real me. He doesn't know anything about me other than my name and my age and that the boys are my best friend. That's it. Anything beyond it, he knows nothing about.

Though, honestly it's probably a good thing. It's probably a good thing he doesn't know the real me and never will. I guess, in a twisted way, Yoongi's done me a favor by ensuring that Jungkook will never have the chance to get close enough to me that he'd figure anything out. Because, even if there were no bet, he'd eventually know the real me and leave anyways.