Lie To Me | Jikook

Chapter 9

Jimin POV

As I walk down the street towards my house, my anxiety continues to rise and rise. My minds been whirling ever since I got out of detention with Jungkook and it's not been good results. It's still not stopped even now, the thoughts only bringing lower and lower feelings towards everything.

I feel absolutely terrible for him, honestly. Jungkook really is a sweet and cute guy, kind and certainly smart. Yet, here I am, somewhat playing with his feelings, as he's going to see it when the truth eventually comes to light. After everything that I'll have done with him by the time he admits to having actually fallen in love with me, it's going to destroy him when the boys eventually tell him that it was all just a stupid fucking bet. When, in reality, it's really never been that for me.

Even when I first met him, I knew even then that I was going to get fucked. I knew the boys would make some sort of shitty bet over him that I knew I wouldn't want to have any part in. I've truly taken an interest in him since that first day. He's adorable and sweet and kind, and so fucking innocent it kills me. And, while everything at school is a fucking lie anyways, I could hardly contain my excitement earlier when he actually fucking agreed to being my boyfriend. It's been years since I've actually been this excited over someone, and it fucking sucks, because he's going to get hurt and think everything I did and said was all for winning the goddamned bet.

And I really wish it didn't have to be that way. I wish I'd have had a way out from the damned bet that Hoseok made and Yoongi encouraged. I wish I didn't have to put on this stupid fucking persona of some happy snarky popular dick. But, if that were to happen, then there wouldn't be reason for me to be terrified of going home every night. There'd be no reason for me to want to run through the house and get out in the morning before my father saw me. There wouldn't be a reason for me to be afraid of making a single fucking mistake.

Yet, that's not the reality I live in. No, the reality I live in is the one of being terrified of my father at all times and hoping to the high heavens that I don't make some random little mistake while knowing the boyfriend I've just gotten is going to be heartbroken and in turn break my own heart when he finds out about the bet that had been agreed to and push me that much closer to finding a way out of this hell that I'm stuck living in.

I don't even want to go home tonight, and as I stand in front of the small house and stare at the rundown structure, I highly contemplate going elsewhere for the night. Even if that means staying on the fucking streets for a night.

My father will already know about the fact that I got detention today, and that in turn made me late for dance. I've got no doubts that they called home to figure out where I was, considering I'm never late, which would mean that he knows about that as well. It's bad enough that I get the shit beat out of me without an actual reason. Now that he has not only one, but two reasons? I had better be hoping on any luck that I might have left, that I'll actually wake up alive in the morning tomorrow.

Though, as much as I'd love to spend the night on the streets rather than go inside to get the living hell beat out of me, I know it would only make things worse. Eventually, I'll have to go inside of there anyways, and if I don't come home now, it'll be a million times worse when I do. He'll be that much angrier because I'll have tried to avoid it, and obviously won't be able to do so forever.

Swallowing hard, I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair before reluctantly heading up towards the front door. Each step feels like a three times my weight, feeling like it takes an eternity to reach the front door.

As I finally reach the front door and stand stock still in front of it, I sigh quietly. In all reality, I deserve this beating anyways. I've deserved them ever since Jungkook came along. I deserve it for what he'll see as leading him on. I deserve it for the pain that I know I'll end up causing him. For having gotten him into detention today anyways.

For trying to get him to fall for me, but even more because I've most definitely fallen for him too.