Euphoria & Pie | Bittybones |

|Preoccupied Pretences| Ch. 9

Sigh.

Another night left you tired, sleep plagued with nightmares. After getting Blue and Cherry into Bitty sized bed clothes that your mom had bought for them, the three of you had went to bed, all tuckered out with your hectic day. A few hours after dozing off though, you had ended up jolting awake with a strangled retch.

The nightmares were terrible, ranging from suffocation to distorted figures prowling your dreams. They didn’t dial down even a little bit, even after you started seeing a therapist. You felt like it was slowly killing you.

With your abrupt awakening you were surprised you didn’t wake up either Bitty, a little bit happy for that. They were still sound asleep in your bed while you slept on the floor still not wanting to accidentally squish them if you shared a sleeping space.

Just like the day before, you had gotten up and made your way to the cold, empty kitchen to clear your winding thoughts. It was once again early in the morning, maybe even earlier than the last time you had awoken from a nightmare. No light trickled through the open windows of the kitchen as you sat down at the table, and the stars still shimmered sightfully.

You just sat there thinking. Thinking, thinking, thinking. Dread and wistfulness started to fill you up like a pie filling as you let your thoughts consume you, flashes of bad dreams coursing through your still half awake mind. Your grip tightened around the table cloth that draped over the table, your knuckles becoming white from the grip. After a moment, the images finally seized from your mind and you sighed, slumping down farther into the seat and deciding to rest your face on the table. Or slam, more of the same.

Ouch. Your nose hurt now.

You let the silence of the night overtake you, the humming of the fridge, faint chirp of crickets from outside, quiet patter of rain trickling down the shingles of the roof. It was calming, somewhat anyway. It didn’t make you happy, but it was soothing to your throbbing emotional state at the moment. You hated how you had these ongoing nightmares every single damn night.

Every day you lost more sleep, and grew ever more cranky and tired. You were surprised you hadn’t snapped at your mom or someone, or done anything else of the sorts. Your trauma was getting to you in the worst possible ways, lack of sleep. You just wished that you could just… Forget about it and move on. You just weren’t ready to unburry and face the memory again. So, you let it sit and eat you up. Maybe you’d deal with it later. Maybe.

But now, you just sat there, slumped over the table, face squished against the hardwood. Your hands had finally let go of the table cloth and were now brushing through your knotted bedhead rat's nest. You’d brush it in the- Er, later in the morning.

For now… You just wanted to rest. You didn’t want to go back to your room, it felt uncomfortable and suffocating now, plus you didn’t want to wake up Blue or Cherry. Especially Blue because you had a feeling he’d be a light sleeper, you didn’t want to wake them.

So.

You stayed like that, eyes barely opened while you slowed your trainwreck of thoughts. Just like any other normal person, yup. Everyone wakes up at the ungodly morning hours to go sleep in the kitchen. Everyone.

Or it’s just you… You acknowledge that something’s wrong with you. You aren’t in denial. Not yet anyway. Just having an early midlife crisis.

-

“ Wake up (Y/n)! ” You heard a small voice mumble to you as you groaned. Yes, voices now have sizes.

You must have fallen back to sleep at some point during the hours you were blankly staring at the kitchen wall, because you don’t remember the sun coming up. You let out a yawn, almost choking on your saliva as drool dripped onto the table. Eww… You drooled in your sleep.