Forbidden Fruit ✔️

~Nick~

"Are you though?"

Was I? I don't think I was. But I needed to be. I knew I would ruin her and so I was going to stay away as best as I could. It was proving to be very difficult.

Hazel was like a drug. Once you got a taste you needed more, you craved more. When I held her hand, I got that small taste and now I needed more.

I needed to know what she felt like. I needed to know how well her body fit with mine.

God this was going to suck.

"Nick?" Daniel calls my name, breaking me out of my daydream.

"I need to be. Whether I can or not. I need to be. I can't let her get hurt any more because of me."

Daniel uncrosses his arms and rests a hand on my shoulder.

"I understand where you're coming from. But what if she feels the same way? If you keep yourself from her doesn't that hurt her?"

Of course he was right. There was no way both of us could win. I didn't even know how she felt. Why would she like me? I was an asshole to her for years. There's no way she could love a guy like me.

"You don't get it Daniel. I don't have a future with her. I lost my business, I don't have anything left. I have nothing to offer her. She's going to do great things in the near future and I don't want to stop her because I was a failed wash-up before I was thirty."

Daniel drops his hand from my shoulder and gives me yet another one of his looks.

"You're being stupid. I don't get why you won't at least try. Don't you deserve to be happy?"

"I am happy" I defend poorly.

"No Nick you're not." He argues.

"Anyone with eyes can see how miserable you are, and how much you like that girl. It's written all over your face. She's waiting for you to tell her."

I shake my head, I was speechless. Thinking that Hazel is waiting for me to open up, gives me hope that maybe I can give her something. I know it won't be much.

"You still don't get it do you?" Daniel says interrupting my thoughts yet again.

"Get what?"

Daniel groans and rubs his hands down his face.

"God you seriously can't be this stupid." He mumbles.

"She followed you in here man. She was the only one. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

"Of course it does"

Daniel looks at me dumbfounded.

"Why are you being such a dumbass?"

"This is just what she does to me" I grumble

Daniel chuckles and claps his hand on my shoulder again.

"Nick just do it. You'll never know if you don't try it. And if you don't you'll live the rest of your life watching her grow without you and wonder 'what if' all the time."

I knew he was right. But my brain refused to listen. The stubbornness that I got from my father was one of my most irritating traits.

Daniel lets out a huff after a few minutes of silence.

"When you get your head out of your ass come see me. But until then, clean up your shit. You made a mess in here." He tells me before turning and leaving the room.

When the latch on the door clicks I sink down onto my bed and rest my head in my hands.

I didn't know what to do.

I was torn.

Do I tell her?

If I did and she felt the same way, we might have some type of dysfunctional future together.

If I told her and she didn't feel the same I would be crushed.

But what if Daniel said was true? What if I don't tell her?

The pain of seeing her move on with someone else, that would hurt more than her rejecting me. We would still be friends and she would always be right there.

So close, yet so far away.

Daniel was right. I needed to get my head out of my ass and make a decision. I wasn't going to be happy until I decided.

The pros outweighed the cons in my head of what our life together could be like. She wouldn't be in debt again, Ollie would get the care he needed. Opal could get into the best college, and Hazel, Hazel could finally follow her dreams. She deserves it more than anyone.

My heart said one thing but my head said another and I didn't know what to do.

I either needed to love her, or lose her.