Love Hurts

Chapter 4

Ryan and Yaz walked along the beach in silence for a bit, sipping their drinks every now and then until Ryan spoke.

"So, what's up?" Ryan asked, keeping his gaze along the beach.

"It's nothing really, just a silly fight with the doctor" Yaz tried to brush it off.

"It doesn't seem like nothing, you look like you've spent the night crying. What was the fight about?" Ryan continued.

"The usual, us putting our self in danger, the doctor wanting to keep us safe." Yaz partially lied.

"She's always like that though, I mean, you have to admit we are fragile compared to her" Ryan chuckled slightly "don't tell her I said that though."

"Yeah, I guess" Yaz thought about it for a bit "but I'm a trained police officer and she treats me like a toddler." Her anger returning slightly.

"She just cares about you Yaz, we all do" Ryan trailed off at the end.

"Yeah, cares" Yaz scoffed.

"Yaz, she does care. I don't think she shows it very well sometimes, but she does" Ryan turned to look at Yaz, who had gone quiet.

"Are you cold?" he asked as he noticed her shivering slightly.

"Yeah, I didn't think to bring my coat when she said beach." Yaz was happy with the change of subject and suddenly felt something being wrapped around her shoulders. Ryan had taken off his jacket and given it to Yaz.

They continued to walk, chatting about random things until they decided they had gone too far and they should start heading back to the doctor and Graham. Yaz's mood had improved at least, she felt better knowing she had Ryan on her side.

The next few weeks were less active than the previous ones, they spent a few more days on the resort planet, then moved on to various other places and times, somehow managing not to run into any trouble.

Ryan and Yaz grew closer, they spent more time together, had late night chats, it was like Ryan was replacing the doctor in Yaz's life. Yaz was happy, it was helping her get over the doctor having a close friend like Ryan.

The doctor, however, was growing more frustrated through jealousy, after what Graham had told her, she started to notice the way Ryan looked at Yaz, the way he hugged her and comforted her, that used to be her job. She tried to remind herself that if this is what it took for Yaz to be safe from her then she needed to let it go, let her go.

It was all going well, on Yaz's part at least, until one night at a fancy party on a planet Yaz couldn't even pronounce, they danced, drank, ate lavish food and generally had a good time. Ryan had asked Yaz to dance and she agreed, although she felt like they were stumbling across the dance floor rather than dancing, as if they didn't quite fit but Yaz still had fun. She watched as the doctor observed them from a nearby table with far too many empty glasses surrounding her. Ryan span her into the middle of the dancefloor and when she looked back over to the table she was gone, then a second later she felt a tap on her shoulder, she slowed and turned her head to see the doctor.

"May I have this dance?" she said holding out a hand and taking a second to glance over to Ryan who let go of Yaz stepping back.

Yaz nodded and took the doctor's hand.

The doctor took hold of Yaz and placed her arm around her back, pulling her close. The doctor took lead, spinning them around the dancefloor. It was different to dancing with Ryan, they seemed to fit and glide across the dancefloor.

"You and Ryan?" the doctor said, not sure exactly what she was asking.

"What about me and Ryan?"

"You seem to be getting close" the doctor said pulling Yaz in slightly and dancing slower as the songs beat changed.

"Yeah well, he cares about me, he's a good friend, wants to make sure I'm ok."

"I don't think that's all he wants" the doctor said, leaning back slightly so she could see Yaz's face. They hadn't been this close in a while, the doctor missed it, the feel of Yaz in her arms felt so right. She had forgotten how beautiful she was, that and the five or six drinks she had in the last hour was making it very hard not to lean in and kiss her.

"What do you mean?" Yaz asked, bringing the doctor out of her thoughts.

"You mean you really can't see it?" the doctor watched Yaz shake her head, she was almost relieved, maybe there really was nothing going on between them.

"He likes you Yaz, like really likes you" the doctor explains.

"What! Of course he doesn't, we're just friends" Yaz said suddenly shocked.

"Yeah to you maybe, not to him" the doctor was grinning at her now.

Yaz considered it for a bit, replayed their time together and made the connections.

"Oh" she whispered upon realisation. Then she thought about it some more.

"Is that why you've been so off with Ryan recently?" she looked up at the doctors face "are you jealous?" she grinned.

"No" the doctor said defensively "like you just said, there's no you and him to be jealous of."

"Maybe not now" Yaz contemplated.

"Oh come on Yaz, you had no interest in him till I brought it up and what, now that you know I was jealous you are interested?" the doctor scoffed.

"I thought you said you weren't jealous" Yaz smirked at the doctor.

The doctor looked at her and as the song changed again slowly let go of her hand, wrapping her arms around her waist and bringing her closer.

"Maybe I was a bit jealous" she whispered into Yaz's ear as Yaz wrapped her arms around her neck.

"What does it matter to you anyway? I'm not yours, you didn't want me" Yaz's voice dropped and the doctor could hear the hurt still in her words, she pulled her closer.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Yaz" she spoke into her ear.

"Really?" Yaz scoffed "because it didn't seem like that to me"

"I'm sorry" the doctor whispered.

Yaz ignored her "So why do you care? I thought we didn't have anything, that you didn't love me."

The doctor didn't reply so Yaz continued "what, you push me away but then can't watch me be happy with anyone else?"

"Yaz, you don't even like him like that. You just admitted it." The doctor replied trying to keep her voice calm.

"No, I like him, I just didn't realise he liked me like that. Maybe we can be happy. Maybe he can give me what you refuse to." Yaz knew she was saying this to wind the doctor up, even hurt her, but she couldn't stop herself.

"Are you really going to pursue him, just to get at me" the doctor was struggling to contain her frustration.

"Why do you assume I'm doing it to get at you. The world doesn't revolve around you doctor." Yaz was getting irritated now, partially because she knew the doctor could see straight through her.

"Ok Yaz go for it. You have my blessing" the doctor sneered.

Yaz let go of the doctor and stepped back, "I don't need your blessing" she shouted before walking away, leaving the doctor alone on the dance floor.

"Well, that went well" the doctor muttered to herself before she turned to follow Yaz off the dance floor.