𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 - J.mz & B.hd

who am i .

Before Joe knew it was already night. He forgot to call Gwil but he knew that Lucy would definitely inform Gwil about it since Joe texted her. Rami was already sleeping because he didn't sleep enough throughout the ride. Joe was sitting on the couch and staring into nothing. It took him 3 minutes to get up and rush outside making sure he left quiet as possible. He didn't even know why he was walking or leaving his apartment it was just really something in him that said that if he didn't do this now, it was gonna be too late. 

He finally arrived infront of the door, hesitating to knock or ring the bell because he might thought someone else would open it. He knocked not that hard but you could still hear it. ' Well there is no turning back now. ' He told himself.

The door opened and Ben looked kinda surprised but also calm. Joe didn't let 1 minute pass until he just grabbed Ben's collar and kissed him. He first regretted it since he felt like he was being stupid and forcing himself onto him but when he felt hands slowly land on his waist he kinda felt himself relax. The kiss didn't take that long but it felt like it took a whole decade. When they parted Ben looked at Joe still not taking any distance. " Why? " He finally asked voice in a whisper but loud enough for Joe to hear. Yeah, why? Joe asked himself. Why did you decide to leave your house at 1 AM to do this? Why did you even cry about him for spending time with someone else? Why did you finally make a move instead of him always making one? ' You are scared of your own feelings pussy. ' Something in his head told him but he brushed it off snapping back to reality. " I, " He paused. " Don't know. " Joe said looking down at his hands. 

Ben looked at him and Joe felt uncomfortable because yet again he always felt small and fragile whenever he was with him. Ben probably felt that he was staring for a while so he cleared his throat. " Ehm, you can come in, if you want? " He asked with hesitation in his voice. Joe only nodded and made his way through to the livingroom. They sat down for a while not really talking because they didn't talk for a whole week, it felt like they had a fight. " Why didn't you respond to me? " Ben asked looking at Joe but Joe was only looking away. " You left me on read when I asked you why you weren't at school. " He tried again but still Joe didn't look at him. " It's because, " He stopped finally daring to look at Ben. " I was busy. " He said seeing Ben nod and purse his lips.

 " My friend came. " Joe added not seeing Ben's head snap towards him. " Who? " The blonde asked while staring at the boy infront of him. " Rami my ehm childhood friend. " Joe said looking down again. He suddenly had the thought of Rami being alone in Joe's apartment but he knew Rami didn't mind that. " You never told me about him. " Ben said bitterly clasping his hands. " Well I guess we both don't tell each other much anymore lately. " Joe said sternly more out of frustration. Ben scoffed shaking his head. Joe finally had the courage to open his mouth again. " Maybe it's also that I couldn't tell you since you were so busy being with Lauren. " Joe claimed pushing the weird feeling in his stomach away. " Maybe, " Ben began in the same tone. " It's because we are dating again. " It was so quiet you could hear a pin probably drop. Joe nodded not being able to get words out of his mouth. Ben looked down in regret of telling. Why tho? It wasn't his problem for dating? Joe made that agreement with him. When Ben or Joe found someone they would stop. 

" Well good for you, that means we can be bestfriends again. Like the days before. " Joe said trying not to sound sad in any kind of way. " Yeah. " Joe stood up and walked towards the door. " I uh- Gotta go, I left Rami alone in my apartment. " Joe said trying to make the mood less sad. " Is he staying at yours? " Ben asked. " Yeah. " Joe said after he opened the door. Lauren stood there planning to knock but since Joe opened it for her it was yet again all awkward. " Oh- Hey Joe. " She greeted also kinda confused. " Hey. " He greeted back but passed her by towards his own apartment again. " 

OOF, haha wtf was that? okay ehm i promise it will get better idk why all of this is so sad its just yeah idk but anyways im going to borhap again tomorrow with a friend and she isnt really interested in that but she will go for me 🥺🥺 thats so sweet 🥰 or maybe its just bc shes bored but let me live my fantasy