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❝fill the emptiness with food.❞
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SCENE II: SHABU SHABU
しゃぶしゃぶ
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THE TANTALISING AROMA of hot food filled the restaurant and their nostrils, making their mouths water. jimin watched the excitement on leia's face as she dipped a piece of meat in sesame sauce and stuffed it in her mouth.
he cooked another piece, urging her to eat. "aren't you having any?" she paused, chopsticks held mid-air. "i will." he answered softly. "so," she started, slowing down on her eating. "what's your story with ae...aeri? if you don't mind my asking, of course."
his lips pressed in a small smile. "it's fine." he assured her. he swirled a piece of meat in sesame sauce, his smile looking sad. he chewed slowly. "aeri and i were together a long time. we met in our first year of university. same department. she was the breezy, easygoing beautiful girl in our class that everyone loved and i was... well, as much as they let me, the wallflower."
leia's right brow went up in question. "as much as they let you?" she repeated curiously. jimin glanced away almost shyly.
"i was really shy and kind of socially awkward so i tried to keep to myself. but it was really difficult when our creative writing professor always mentioned me when he talked about having a natural talent for crafting words together. and my classmates never stopped talking about my looks." he trailed off at the tail end, scratching his nape with his index finger.
"what? in a bad way?" she frowned, a mix of worry and confusion readable in her expression. "not at all. the complete opposite. but it was kind of embarrassing to hear." he admitted, taking another bite sized meat in his mouth. she waited patiently for him to chew before he continued.
"aeri walked up to me one day after class and asked if i could help her with creative writing." another sad smile made an appearance. "it was so easy and natural talking to her. and when we got paired for a theory and text assignment, i was so happy. i didn't realise for a while that i'd developed more than a little crush on her, but when i did, i asked her to be my girlfriend."
leia listened carefully, though to outsiders it might have seemed like she was more concerned with cooking the meat in the hotpot. jimin could tell she was by the little reactions she had to his words. like the tiny smile she had when he mentioned having a crush and the inconspicuous raise of her brows at the mention of his straightforward bravery. he knew how to find and read her subtle body language.
"you two must have dated your entire four years of uni then." she remarked, placing the piece of meat in front of him. he smiled gratefully at her. "probably got voted 'most likely to get married' and everything." she glanced up from the hotpot to look at him.
"we did. and for almost a year after that. we moved in together but i think that's when it all started to fall apart. i was deep into my writing and she got a job working for this publishing company. we began to spend less and less time together. i noticed and tried to make the most of the time we did have. but perhaps my efforts were not enough or not as committed as i believed."
he picked at a vegetable distractedly. "our communication continued to diminish and it just started to feel like we were roommates instead of lovers." he sighed heavily. "it felt horrible. i felt horrible. one friday after a meeting with my editor, i came home to find her sitting at the dining table waiting for me..." he stared off into distance.
"she wanted to talk about us." he let out another sigh. "she told me that somewhere in the middle of our busy schedules, she'd fallen out of love with me. it just didn't feel the same anymore. and she thought i felt the same. so i pretended to be fine." he chuckled mirthlessly. "even though my feelings for her were as strong as ever, i acted like i was okay with everything she was saying."
he met leia's gaze with that smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "and i just watched her walk out of my life without doing anything to stop her, because i wanted her to be happy even if it meant not being in her life the way i wanted to."
she regarded him for a long minute, cheek resting in her palm. "the whole charade was more for her than you, wasn't it?" she asked softly. "so she doesn't realise you were hurt by her leaving from how awkward and uncomfortable you'd have been by yourself."
he casted his eyes downwards. it was silent between them for a moment, the sound of cooking broth filling the air. "do you still have feelings for her?"
his head snapped up at the quiet question. "it's been months. half a year. how could i still?" he answered. "sometimes it takes longer to get over someone and even longer to heal." she mumbled, placing another piece of meat in front of him. "it's okay to not be ready to see someone you were in love with for years even after so long. you're still adjusting to life without her. i understand."
he stared at her while she cooked more meat. how could she be so perceptive? she glanced up and smiled. "eat up. i've eaten way more than you." she urged. blinking, he nodded and did as he was told.
"you talk like you're speaking from experience." he remarked after a while. "have you ever loved someone that long?" he asked softly. "not in the last ten years, no. the longest i've dated anyone is eleven months." she shrugged. "the last ten years..." he echoed, noting her choice of words.
"ah, i barely have any recollection of my life before i moved to japan with my grandmother." she answered almost nonchalantly. he gawked at her and she paused in the middle of taking a bite when she noticed.
"when i was fifteen, i was in a car accident with my parents. i lost my memories and they lost their lives." she stared blankly at the hotpot.
"my nana and i moved here shortly after. she couldn't bear to stay at our old home so we came here where she'd lived the happiest years of her life with my grandfather. i still haven't been able to get my memories back. sometimes i get flashes and i see my parents but there hasn't been any significant sign of my memories coming back."
her eyes moved back up to meet his and she smiled. "so if i was crazy about a boy before then, i can't recall." she dropped her chopsticks and leaned back. "ah, why is this conversation taking such a dark turn? we just met each other and we're already telling depressing stories."
"that's my fault." he followed her actions, expression serious. she shook her head. "it's fine. lighten up." she glanced outside, lips pressing together. "it's getting late, we should get going."
"yeah, i'll pay for our meal." he pushed his seat back, getting on his feet. she did the same, grabbing her things. "thanks. i'll wait for you outside."
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this chapter was getting too long omg and i ended up cutting it off abruptly oop, i'm sorry.
