Seeking Perfection

t w o

I get home after school, feeling awful. The pain in my chest due to anxiety, was there throughout the whole day. The last thing I wanted right now is to make father angry, but it was too late. I don't know if he knew yet, but I didn't care. I was mentally preparing myself for his arrival.

I enter the kitchen, and put my bag on top the island, looking for something to drink on the fridge before heading up to my room. The house smells amazing, since the maids were already cooking, and I felt sad that I probably was not going to eat that.

"Heather." Says Lila, one of the maids. "Want me to make you something quick before dinner? You must be hungry, and Mr. Robinson doesn't get here until after six and that's three hours away." She says concern.

Lila is the closest thing I have to a mother in this house. She's been working in our house way before I was born. Her and my mother were really close before she sadly passed away when I was only four.

"It's okay." I say with a small smile. "I'm not hungry, I can wait." I lie.

"You sure?" She asks with a frown. "You've been eating less and less as the days go by." She says crossing her arms.

"I ate sushi with Rosemary and Arabella before arriving." I say, feeling bad for lying to her.

"Okay then." She says eyeing me. "But I'm watching you." She adds putting her hand on my shoulder.

I smile and grab my bag, wanting to be alone. Why does she have to be so nice? I hate having to lie to her all the time.

I enter my room and throw my bag in my bed, taking my shoes and school blazer off. I quickly proceeded to take my skirt off and undo my tie, staying in the shorts I had underneath it, not wanting to shower yet. I was probably going to work out later, so I will wait until dinner for that.

I sit on my desk, opening my laptop to do the essay Harrington wanted us to write, and sigh frustrated. Do I even still have the stupid guideline here? They gave me one on freshman year, but I never read it, no one does.

My phone rings, and I look at the screen to see a FaceTime call from Jason on the screen.

"Hi." I say answering.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks concern. "You were acting strange today, especially after what happened this morning."

"I'm sorry." I say shrugging. "I just knew I was screwed, I've never had detention before." I whisper sad.

"It's okay." He says apologetic. "It's my fault, I'm so sorry."

"It's not." I reply. "Is both of us, I kissed you back. I'm just worried for my father."

"Is he home yet?" He asks concern.

"Not yet." I sigh stressed.

"Don't worry about it." He says with a smile. "He won't be that mad, you've never done something bad before, he will understand. I'm just sad he had to find about us this way. He's going to hate me for sure, and he's never even met me." He says disappointed.

"I know." I murmur. "There goes any chances of him liking you and letting us be together." I frown.

"Doesn't matter." He says. "I love you that's all that matter."

I roll my eyes and smile at him. "Can we talk later?" I ask him. "I have tons of homework and I have to study for a test tomorrow."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too." I reply and end the call.

I stand up, knowing I wasn't going to concentrate with my father on my mind. So, I put some music on to ignore my thoughts and began to exercise. I did crunches, sit ups, leg raise and more. Anything that made my stomach less awful. It was so huge it disgusts me, I hated seeing it in the mirror every day.

After I finish working out, I take a quick shower, it was six o'clock already and father usually gets here at six thirty.

I stare at the scale on my bathroom floor, debating whether to weigh myself. I've probably didn't lose that much since the last day I did, which was two days ago. After thinking for a while, I hop on it and look down. 121 pounds read the scale. I sigh, only on pound down. Why do I have to be so fat? I wonder in despair.

I get dress and get on my bed, my Physics notes on my hand to review a little bit before dinner. Even though the anxiety was consuming me, I had to study something before he gets home.

After fifteen minutes of studying my door flew open, and my heart fell to the floor. He was home.

He enters my room and close the door behind me, his face drop dead serious. He stood in front of my bed, staring at me like I've had committed murder, but he doesn't say anything yet. He just stood there undoing his tie.

"Detention." He says raising his brows. "A boyfriend?" He asks taking a deep breath.

I get up, and stand in front of him, feeling like I might faint any moment now.

"I can explain." I say taking a deep breath.

"Explain?" He shouts angrily. "I hope you do have a good reason for going behind my back and acting like a brat! I didn't raise you to become someone that doesn't follow rules, that misbehaves!"

I stare at the ground, nodding in agreement, knowing it was my fault.

"I'm sorry." I cry, ashamed of embarrassing him. "I didn't mean to."

"Look at me when I talk to you!" He yells exasperated.

I look up, to see the disappointment in his eyes and feel even worse. He raises his hand, and in a matter of seconds it met my face, making me stumble back. I touch my cheek quickly, pain and surprise running through me.

He had never hit me before, he had never laid a finger on me. I look at him dumbfounded, tears rushing down my face.

"You will break up with that boyfriend of yours." He says fixing his shirt. "Now stop crying and come downstairs to eat." He replies, turning around and going out the door.