Thomas Weiss

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This is dangerous. My level of admiration for Nic is so dangerous, it wouldn't be surprising if one of these days I'd end up on my knees in front of him declaring it in front of a crowd making it more remarkable than Viv's. Nic, my sweet Nic is nowhere to be found at this moment. I'm guessing he's with Josh at the greenhouse like they've been doing recently, much to my annoyance but I have this artwork I needed to finish before the presentation by the end of this month and I can't mess it up. It'll also be the first time Nic will see my artwork displayed at school so I don't want to be full of myself and amaze him. More than anything, I want to hear him say that he likes my art, that as if it also means he likes me as well.

After I got home from dropping him off a few nights ago, I was so out of it. I wasn't able to sleep just from thinking about him again and again. I was excited to get through that night and see him the next day. I was hoping, praying, that maybe something has changed. There's got to be something even if it's almost unnoticeable. 

Unfortunately, luck isn't on my side.

We've met up during the first class and everything feels the same. He smiled his usual adorable smile and talked to me about the lesson. There was no spark, no nervousness, no avoiding of eye contact and shy smiles. He didn't even eat with us at lunch. He went with Josh at the greenhouse. I wanted to come but I wasn't invited.

What's more ridiculous is that I don't feel any less for him. I still like him and it's unbearable. With Josh' presence I just got more anxious and jealous even if I know Nic doesn't like him that way and Josh likes someone else. I hate that Nic is not just for me to admire and spend time with anymore. I hate that it's not me who has the same interest as him. I hate not being able to see his smile most time of the day. I hate this feeling yet I like him more. I like him because he's unlike everyone else. I like him because he doesn't make me feel I need to pretend. I like him because he's funny. I like him because he sees me. I like Nic because he is Nic.

"You're crazy." Crazy for Nic, yes. "Stop being creepy Tom. It's unnerving."

"Shut up Viv. I'm busy."

"Yeah, right. You haven't lifted your paintbrush since you sat there."

I look at my hand and realizes she's right. The paintbrush is dipped on the palette on my lap immobile. I sigh inwardly and lifted my head trying to focus. Don't mess this up Tom. You have to do this right.

"Nic's looking for you."

"What!?"

Carol raises her hand in front of her then chuckles. "Calm down dude. He's asking where you are. Should I say you're in the art room?"

"Um......"

Viv shakes her head while frowning. "Of course not, idiot. He'll see your artwork. Isn't it supposed to be a surprise?"

She's right. "But....."

"Nope. Not just because you want to see him now you'll mess this up. It's a surprise Tom, a surprise!"

Carol nods her head in agreement. "So, what should I tell him?"

I slump back to my seat, trying to think of an answer. I don't want Nic to know of this yet so going here is out the question. I also can't lie about practicing since I told him there's no practice 'till afternoon. "Screw this. I can't even concentrate anymore. Tell him let's meet at the field." Viv and Carol simultaneously shake their head but smile either way.

When we reach the field, Josh runs to us like a little kid as soon as he catches sight of us. "Hey guys!" He greets while trying to catch his breath. He's energetic but pretty nonathletic as well.

"Ugh, my sweet little apple pie! Where have you been?" Viv envelopes him in a hug and pinches his cheeks. Poor guy. Carols proceeds to join the hug making them grunt breathlessly.

I look away from the little family reunion on my side and walk to Nic who's smiling fondly at them from the benches. "They're cute."

He nods while patting the space beside him for me to sit. "Josh is a cute kid."

He is but I'm peeved that he's saying that so I just hum in response. "What were you doing?"

"Josh was telling me the names of the plants on the greenhouse but the horticulture club arrived for an activity so we had to leave. What were you doing?" He catches me off-guard. I can't really say I'm keeping an artwork from him.

I clasp my hands together in a fist and lean my chin on it, trying to act calm. "I was sleeping at the art room."

He eyes me skeptically and raises an eyebrow. "You were sleeping? At the art room?"

I bite my lips urging myself not to say anything I'd regret. Nope, Tom. Just because you like him doesn't mean you have to give in so easily. "Yeah, it's more quiet than the library."

Nic wasn't giving up and is ready to ask something else. Fortunately, before he can question me any further and make my defense crumble, the small family arrives with Carol carrying Josh piggyback. "Let's eat. I'm starving. Hopefully the cafeteria's open. If not, let's ditch the rest of the school and at eat at Joey's."

We both nod and make our way to the school cafeteria.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. We had to skip the rest of the class to eat at the diner but I went back to school for football practice which took longer since the first game is approaching soon so I also didn't get to offer Nic a ride back home. I even thought Nic was finding me annoying already and I was tempted to put a space between us intentionally until the artwork presentation. I almost made up my mind until my phone dinged and lighted up by my nightstand with a message notification saying, "Good night, Tommy. See you tomorrow."

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