I didn't wrote for a very very long time...and... Well i'm not sorry. So i guess you gotta have to deal with that.
I can tell you my status right now is not very good. (well actually i'm about to yeet myself outta the fucking window.)
But seriously, i hope i die if i do that. You can say i'm very suicidal. You know every time when i cross a railroad crossing place, i think by myself: "damn i could also just stay here and end all this pain in life" but then i think 'bout my parents and i immedeatly can't do it anymore. THAT FRUSTRATES ME! it frustrates me that i want tot die and one side of me thinks: "f*ck it just do it." While the other side of me is scared to let this whole life go.
I'm used to let the last side win, but that's getting harder, too hard. You know i am so freankin depressed and hurt and just everything you don't want. I got disorders that scare me, i got things that freak me out and i'm just done being scared of myself.
YOU ARE READING
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Randommy diary - depression - self harm - anxiety - disorders ***TRIGGER WARNING: INCLUDES SELF HARM PICS***
