disclosure [l.h]

twenty-nine

It had been three days in a row where I've woken up and needed to vomit. As much as I got used to it, the bile taste and smell only made me vomit worse.

Mom suggested that I needed to get it checked it out at the hospital so that's why I was here. Currently, sitting in the ER, the smell of antiseptic, cleaning products, hand sanitizer, vomit, BO, sweat, booze breath, coffee, taco chips, perfume, hair products, cough drops, air conditioned filtered the air just enough to make me want to feel sick again.

I've been sitting here for hours, I got calls and texts from the boys but I never got the chance to reply and frankly, I didn't want to reply. 

I didn't want to tell them I was getting myself checked out again because that would just worry them. They shouldn't need to worry, they needed to be fine.

"Tyler, Elizabeth Marie Tyler." The receptionist called, my head shot up and I cringed at the fact they just called my middle name. I still absolutely hated it, I hated it because dad gave me the name. Speaking of him, I haven't spoken to him since I saw him. Mom tried to bring up the subject but I would always change it or drop it, trust me, I didn't want to feel anger towards my mum but how could she act so calmly about this? He ruined our life. He ruined her, Mel and me. Plus, he couldn't give two shits about Dan until he left the world. Only then he realized what special guy Dan really was and cried all the way through the funeral which I didn't go but only heard from Mel.

"Let's go sweets," Mom nugded me, I nodded and got up, stuffing my turned off phone in my back pocket. We walked inside and was lead to the end of the clammy, disgusting hallway which I've grown sick off. I saw the name 'Dr. Johnson.' was stamped on the wall by the door so I assumed it was his room, there could only be one Johnson anyway.

"Hey Elizabeth. Hello Ms. Tyler." He greeted us, I smiled politely and sat infront of the desk, ankles crossed and hands fiddling.

"I've heard you've been vomiting." He stated but in a questioning way. I nodded my head up and down slowly before he sighed.

"A few days actually." Mom butted in -- as if I couldn't answer that for myself. "Could you tell us why?"

Dr. Johnson looked at me as if he was to question if I wanted to hear it, of course I wanted to hear it. If I had something growing inside of me why wouldn't I want to know what it was?

"The brain is contained within the skull and has a fixed amount of space," He began, "If a tumor grows in the brain it will often cause an increase in pressure within the skull, which can cause symptoms to develop." Yeah, as if I had no idea. I rolled my eyes at the conversation we were having right now but glad both of them hadn't noticed.

"An increase of pressure in the skull is called raised intracranial pressure also known as ICP. The most common symptoms of raised pressure within the brain are headaches, feeling sick which is nausea and being sick which is what's happening with you right now, vomiting." He finished with a sorry look in his eyes.

"How often is this going to happen?" I asked, propping an elbow on the desk.

"If the raised pressure makes you sick, it may be worse in the morning than during the day. It may also get worse if you suddenly change position, for example from sitting or lying to standing."

"So, what? I'm not allowed to do anything?" I huffed.

"Elizabeth." Mpm warned, I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms.