Enamoured《 Neymar Jr

four

TARAYA'S POV:

Maria took a step towards me menacingly. "It's all your fault!" she yelled furiously, hurling sand into my eyes, "She's gone! BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"No, no," I mumbled, trying to convince myself that she was wrong.

"Don't try to deny it. If it wasn't for you, she'd still be here. You know that. You let her go. Monster!"

The last words hit me like a whip. She was right; that's who I was.

Suddenly, the scenery changed. Maria disappeared. I now saw a sandy rune. Wait! I knew this place from somewhere. A girl's already mangled body lay there, getting stabbed violently over and over again.

The dead body opened it's lifeless eyes, revealing that familiar green. "Your fault," I heard it mockingly whisper.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I woke up screaming. A sticky substance which was a mixture of sweat and tears covered my face. Harry and Niall rushed into my bedroom, frantic.

"What happened?" they both asked worriedly in unison.

"N-n-nothing," I replied in an unstable manner, "Just a nightmare."

It was so much more than a nightmare.

The two boys wrapped me in a comforting hug. I clung on, attempting everything in my power to not burst into a torrent of tears.

"Baby, we'll always be here for you," Harry cooed, "We were just about to wake you. Guess where we're going?"

Oh no! We had to leave for Barcelona. Holding my pleas of agony  in, I pulled out of the hug and looked at the clock: 06:35 am.

It was quite ironic, the way I had this dream just before leaving to Barcelona. Life must hate me.

"Alright then," I declared, "I'll go and get ready."

"And we'll make you a wonderful breakfast, okay sweetheart?" Niall said.

I nodded weakly, then rushed to the bathroom, phone in one hand, my secret blade I had covertly slipped out of my bedside drawer in the other.

I broke into heavy, silent sobs. This couldn't be happening to me! Just when I had finally made others believe that I was recovering, I had to do something to screw it all up!

Stop! Stop ruining other people's lives around you. Constantly,they have the unnecessary duty to check whether you're still alive!

I knew just what I required. I slid the blade out of it's paper case, rolled my sleeve up and dragged it across my pale, broken skin. The overwhelming pain soothed yet hurt me simultaneously. I felt like I had deserved all this pain. Eerily, I smiled. A sick, twisted grimace.

I was no idiot. The boys often checked my wrists and skin for any new scars, so I had to be careful. I always either sliced higher up on my thighs or arms.

Selfish, nasty girl. Hating her life when you have so much more than others.

Loser

Maniac

Mental

Unstable

Unlovable

Disgraceful.

Switching my phone on, I found the message I was looking for.

To: N

Ney,

I can barely cope anymore. I'm returning to the bottom of the pit from where I had climbed out of with such effort. I am beginning to slip away. I am self harming more than ever now! It's almost a part of my daily routine, like eating and sleeping is. Why does the past always torture me in the form of fate? What have I ever done? There's people starving to death in the world and there's rich, deranged me, regretting it all when some people would gladly have my life.

What's happening now with you?

Stay strong,

"A"

There was an abrupt knock on the door as I sent it. Immediately, I cleared my throat, desperately hoping I didn't sound like I was just crying.

"T," Harry called, "Breakfast is ready. It's just some bacon and Nutella sandwiches."

"Coming Haz," I replied, washing the leaking scarlet liquid on my legs down the sink.

Within an hour, I was completely ready, wearing a floral crop top paired with high waisted jeans and my favourite pair of worn out Converse. I had also opted for an extra dab of golden eyeshadow, mascara and a generous amount of strawberry flavoured ChapStick.

"Ready?" Nialler asked after I had scarved down my food.

"Ready." I replied, grabbing both of their hands.

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The flight was extremely tiring yet comfortable. I had already seen most of the movies, the TV shows were terrible and all the games were tedious. So I spent the majority of the flight listening to music from my phone, eating and dozing off.

Within two hours, we arrived in Barcelona. My palms became moist and I felt like suffocating.

Don't you DARE bring back all the memories!

Soon after that, we whizzed past immigration, reclaimed our luggage and finally felt the wonderful heat on our skin. Thankfully, Niall had rented a Range Rover for the time we spend here.

"Where are we staying guys?" I asked them.

"My friend's house. But he is busy today so we can only go there after 10 tonight."

"Which leaves us.." Harry checked his watch, "Precicely 12 hours of free time!"

"So what are we going to do?" I asked.

"We'll have to decide now," Harry answered, "Any ideas?"

I rackedy brain, but no suggestions were present.

"I know," Niall gushed, "We can go to the SHOPPING MALL!"

"That's a great idea!" Harry agreed enthusiastically.

Oh God! This was going to be a long day!

A/N DOUBLE UPDATE KEEP READING!

And btw, if you ever feel like self harming, please don't. I know I'm a stupid person to listen to as even I don't follow my own advice, but trust me. Once you start you can't stop and yes it does muffle some emotional pain to a certain extent, but you'll actually end up feeling guitlier.