FADED (book I)

XXXII

I walked into the kitchen to make my lunch and instantly regretted it when I found everyone sitting around the table - they weren't supposed to be up yet. Throwing a quick look at the clock on the wall, I cursed myself for spending more time at Marion's than I had intended.

Tristan and Ashton were chatting about something related to work. Noah was scrolling through something on his phone while using the other hand to feed himself some cereal. Jordan was nowhere to be seen and I thought that if I stayed quiet I could spin around and go to my room without anyone noticing me.

I didn't even have a chance to put my plan in motion when two large hands dropped on my shoulders from behind.

"Where did you go?" Jordan asked while simultaneously pushing me back into the kitchen to join the rest. I tried to dig my heels into the floor in a show of dread and resistance but he wouldn't have it. He didn't let me go until I was seated and pushed my chair in, making me feel trapped.

Four pairs of eyes were trained on me and every spot on my skin prickled at the scrutiny. I could hear their loud thoughts, the concern radiating off of them was palpable in the air, I could practically taste the questions they were dying to ask me on my own tongue - I ducked my head, overwhelmed.

"How's Marion?" Jordan questioned as he put a bowl of cereal in front of me. I wanted to argue about why he had bothered to ask me where I was in the first place if he clearly already knew the answer but I bit my tongue.

"Good," was all I offered.

I focused on where my name and Noah's were engraved into the side of the kitchen table. My finger trailed each crooked letter, wishing I could go back to the days when my only concern was Jordan blowing a gasket about Noah and I using his butterfly knife. Back to the days when I didn't have to worry about how many people had seen my pictures.

I caught a movement out the corner of my eyes when Jordan ran a hand down his face, only to stop at his chin where he would scratch at his stubble.

"Jade, about last night ... " he paused as if he needed some time to search for the right words. But nothing he said could make this right. He couldn't undo what had been done. He couldn't give me back my dignity. "We need to talk about what happened - "

"There's nothing to talk about," I cut him off, squirming in my chair.

"There were many ways to tell you the truth and I chose the wrong one. I shouldn't have been so harsh and blunt about it."

"Doesn't matter. I brought it on myself."

"Babe, don't say that," Tristan spoke for the first time. "Look, you have every right to be mad at us, so be mad all you want. But try to put yourself in our shoes for a minute okay?"

"All of this is exactly what we were trying to avoid. We thought you were better off not knowing," Jordan reasoned.

"You had no right," I choked up.

My eyes stung with tears of frustration. They shouldn't be on the receiving end of my anger, they thought they were helping me. Marion was right, they only had my best interest at heart. I should be pissed off at my mother who allowed men to take pictures of me. I should be pissed off at the bastards that took pleasure in using a child like that for their own twisted pleasures.

"We were going to tell you about it," Tristan continued.

My jaw clenched. "When?"

"When you were ready," he replied. "But you weren't ready yet. It was too soon. I guess there isn't a right time to tell you but we had hoped to prepare you first, ease you into it so you could bear the brunt."