It's Us

5

1 Day Without Amria

We stayed on opposite sides of the bed all night. He didn't turn over to hold me and I didn't scoot closer to go in his arms. We didn't touch each other at all and I hated it.

With Amria-Lily missing, I don't know how I even slept at all, but when I wake the sun is shining brightly through the window of our bedroom. Sitting up, I rub my eyes sigh. I don't know what else to do. We can have Reyna announce it to camp for everyone to be aware incase they've seen her, maybe they can form a bigger search party, but other than that, I don't know what else

I feel shifting in the bed and turn to see Travis sitting up. His back is facing towards me and his slouches with his face buried in his hands. I look at my own hands. These hands have carried Amria, have soothed her through her nightmares, held her own during her first day of school. They've helped her tame her Agrokinesis abilities, taught her how to do her hair, and have made her cupcakes for every single one of her birthdays. But they cannot find her.

They cannot find my daughter.

"Why didn't you tell me that you couldn't find her?" Travis asks. He isn't facing me but I know his blue eyes are broken, saddened.

"I went to look for her on my own," is my weak response.

"I should have been looking for her with you."

"I just went to look for her as soon as I could, and you weren't close enough for me to notify you—"

"I don't care if I was near you," He interrupts, "I should have been looking for her too."

"I had help from Reyna, and Annabeth, and Hazel, and Mir—"

"But you couldn't go get me?"

"You were still far away."

He turns to me now and our eyes meet, "I don't care if I was far away. Amria is my daughter too!"

"I know—"

"Do you, Katie?" He lashes out, "Because all you say is my baby, my daughter."

"Because she is my daugh—"

"No." He says, his voice is firm, tough, but breaking, and it interrupts me again and again. "She is our daughter."

"I know that!" I say and I start to sit up, but he stands up gets out of the bed, away from me again.

"Amria-Lily Stoll is our daughter, you are my wife, I am your husband," He tells me, but nothing he says is anything new.

"I know, Travis, I know!"

"Then act like it!"

"I am!"

"Oh, but not getting me to help find our daughter definitely shows that I am a dependable husband." His sarcasm hits me like a truck. "Not telling me that she is missing, definitely shows that."

The word missing hits me too, and I can't say anything else.

"Better or for worse," he sighs, and his sarcasm is gone. The anger in his tone has disappeared, the pain is silent. But at the same time, is still there.

I shut my eyes as the tears brim my eyes. I can't take this.

I hear the bedroom door open and open my eyes, only to catch Travis disappear too. The door closes behind him as he leaves me again. I hear voices down stairs as Oleander and Samuel get ready for school, and cautiously walk down the stairs to listen better.

"Your mom is still upstairs," Travis tells them. "Try to be quiet."

"Is she okay?" Oleander asks. I can practically see Travis shooting a silent look to Ollie. A look as if to say, not now, or, not around Samuel.

"She's alright."

I can tell that Samuel gets the silent message as the only noises I hear after that is sweet, childlike humming, which I'm sure is coming from oblivious Samuel. But soon even that goes away when I hear the front door open and close. As the boys are off to go off too school and Travis goes to work, the house is now silent and I convince my self that I don't have to work the shop today.

I find myself turning in my bed unable to sleep as I still can't stop worrying. I don't know where Amria is, Travis walked away from me again, Oleander had to help me get through an emotional breakdown, what am I doing? What kind of mother am I? What kind of wife am I? Where is my child?

What a lie that is, I am far from alright.

02 • 13 • 19
This is a bad
valentine's day surprise for y'all
huh oh well
💜