It's Us

4

He left me. He walked out. Travis left me. The thought shakes my body and I find it hard to breathe. Amria-Lily is missing. Travis walked out. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I find myself lying down on the kitchen floor again. Alone. Aching. Crying. But I can't stop. I am a demigod, I should be stronger than this. I am born of godly decent and I should be stronger than crying uncontrollably on my kitchen floor.

I trained at Camp Half Blood practically my entire life. I've fought in wars and against monsters. I've fought weaponless, injured, sickly, and for my life. But I don't think I've ever felt any pain as having a missing child.

That night after having been to school and done his shift at the shop, like normal, Oleander finds me on the floor just like his father did.

He looks so much like his father. His curly brown hair. Blue eyes that don't match mine and my mother's brown ones, but match my dad's and Travis' blue ones. His playful grin, usually always plastered on his face, and his eyes almost always calculating with mischief, but instead they look at me with fear and concern. Just like his father did.

He too asks me what's wrong, why am I crying, what happened to Amria, why didn't I get him to help me. But he doesn't leave me. He doesn't walk out the door. Unlike his father. Instead he holds me as I sob and soothes me when it's hard to breathe. He carries me to mine and Travis' bedroom and tucks me into bed. He leaves me a sandwich and a glass of water on my nightstand and stays at my side as I cry myself to sleep.

Oleander isn't there when I wake up though. Stretching my arms out for Travis I don't feel him on the other side of the bed. I frown and through my puffy eyes, I can barely read the time on my bedside clock.  2:30 am. My stomach grumbles and I remember that I didn't eat anything the day before. I didn't even eat the birthday cupcake.

I eat the sandwich Ollie left for me quickly and stare at the empty side of my bed. Travis didn't come to bed. I feel tears welling up again and blink them away as I look up at the ceiling. Finishing my meal I walk downstairs and place the dish and glass in the sink, noticing Travis on the couch. His eyes are closed but his sleep looks restless. I walk over to him and crouch before him. I stare at my husband and notice a crease in between his eyebrows formed by his frown. I cup his cheek with my hand and rub it with my thumb. Unconsciously he melts into my touch and the frown disappears.

I smile at him and kiss his forehead as his eyes flutter open. I don't know what to say to him. And he doesn't try to say anything to him. I stand up and walk to the the doorway of our living room, then turn back to him. Our eyes meet and I watch him sit up.

Neither of us speak, but neither of us attempts to anyways. He stands up and walks up to me. His blue eyes find mine and in the dark they are so full of beautify I feel so important to have them looking at me. I want lean into him and kiss him for real. I want to kiss his lips and I want to be in his arms and his embrace, but he left me. He walked out the door. He left me on the kitchen floor.

I begin to walk up the stairs and find he follows me. We walk up to our room and both climb into bed, but I don't go into his arms, and he doesn't hold me in them.

01 • 28 • 19
i said don't kill me
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