Seeing in Color

Three

Nico

Darkness was all I remember. The pounding in my chest reminded me that I was alive. I groggily sat up and moaned, rubbing my throbbing head. Dazed and exhausted, I looked around the room I called home.

The mattress I was sleeping on a week ago had been stained with so much blood and vomit, I had to throw it out. I now slept on my futon that I pulled in from the front room. I rose and searched dizzily around for my bottle of pills.

Now, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not some poor scrap you see on the side of the road, a creep addicted to prescription drugs and a chain-smoker. I have never taken any medication I wasn't given to by my doctor, a person I'm not too fond of, and I don't smoke. Well, not regularly.

I found the medicine and swallowed it without water. In a few minutes, my pounding migraine would dissipate, but it hurt worse than it had the night before. The reoccurring nightmares didn't haunt my sleep last night, but the ever-present headache was always there for me, whenever I woke up.

Limping out my bedroom door, I crept into the cold, tight bathroom and shut the door behind me.

"Nico, is that you?" A voice came from the hallway, and I heard the soft echo of a knock on the wall. "Are you alright?"

My older sister was always so worried for me. Ever since last year at Christmas, she's been over-protective and nosy. She never let me leave the house without knowing where I was going and why, who I was going with, and when I'd be back.

Sisters.

"Yeah, I'm just tired, that's all," I lied. The migraines and the ringing in my ears were getting worse, and I was weaker every day, but I would never tell my sister that. She was already stressed enough with all the medical bills, student loans, and the ever-growing stack of overdue payments on the apartment.

"Okay, I have breakfast on the table. Come out and eat when you're ready, and we can talk," I heard her soft footsteps walking away. Now, I may not like how intruding she is in my personal life, but whenever there's food involved...

I stood before the sink and splashed water on my face, grimacing at the reflection in the mirror. A small, fading bruise marked my face like a burn. I sighed and opened my sister's cabinet, stealing her foundation and dabbing some over the bruise. My dark, sunken eyes I could do nothing about.

I stepped out of the bathroom and walked into the kitchen. My sister was humming as she poured her orange juice. She spotted me trying to steal my plate of food and run off to my room.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Bianca snatched the plate out of my hand and the toast out of my mouth. Slapping the platter of breakfast onto the table, she put her hands on her hips and faced me.

"We eat as a family," Her dark brown eyes had a vicious spark in them, and I knew I had no choice but to sit down and eat with her. I sighed and pulled out a chair, letting it scrape across the cheap linoleum floor. Bianca sat down across from me and slid the plate over.

Gulping my orange juice and inhaling the toast and fried egg, all of which tasted like sawdust, I tried to keep my mouth full so my older sister couldn't interrogate me. She raised a thick black eyebrow but continued to finish her breakfast in slow bites and sips.

After a small gulp of juice, she set her cup down and cleared her throat.

"So, it's the first day of school," Bianca tapped her neatly clipped and painted nails on the hard surface of the table, the rhythm all too familiar. "Any last words?"

I couldn't help but snicker. Looking up from my empty plate, I leaned back in my chair and slightly spread my legs in a bored manner. I shrugged and looked around the small kitchen, avoiding her eyes.

"Will you be ready to leave when the bus pulls up down the street?" She glanced out the small window next to the tiny table where we sat. "I think it will be here pretty soon."

"I'm not taking the bus," I sat upright and pushed my plate towards the middle of the table. Bianca turned her head and raised her eyebrow again. She pursed her lips and sighed.

"You're never going to make friends if you don't try, Nico," Bianca put her elbows on the table and placed her face in her palms. Through her fingers, she mumbled, "Will you ever understand that?"

I got angry and shot out of my seat, startling my sister and sending the chair toppling backwards. The table shook and the two cups clattered to the floor. Fortunately for me, they were plastic. We could never afford glass.

"I could never make friends, and you know that! Why do you have to make everything so difficult, Bianca!"

"Difficult?" She stood, the spark in her eyes burning into a raging flame. She pointed a finger at her chest. "I'm trying to make this easier for you! If it weren't for me, we'd be on the streets, starving and sick!"

"I'm already sick, and there's nothing to change that!" I roared, smacking my hand on the table. Bianca jumped in fright. "I'm sick, Bianca, and I won't make friends in time!"

She paled and the fire died out in her eyes. Tears started to fall, and she sank back into her chair, sobbing. The rage in my chest was still there, but the anger towards my sister dissipated. I suddenly realized what I had done and felt my heart sink. My sister was crying, and I was...

Well, dying.

"I'm walking to school today," I grabbed my prepacked bag off its hook on the wall and slid it over my shoulder. "I'll see you at the diner after work."

"Don't...come tonight," She wiped a river of tears from her right eye, her voice breaking. "Gregory scheduled...a meeting. I won't be...at the...counter to...chat..."

I resisted the urge to hug her. I don't know what came over me, but all I felt was the rush to get out of this place.

I turned and walked out the door.

Looking back on that moment now, I wish I had just skipped school and stayed home with Bianca.

Maybe that would have kept her from getting in the car to go to the store the next week.

Maybe I could have saved her.

Maybe.