bts pt.2 // kim seokjin //

scene 34

"Hyung,"

Why does it always start with someone saying 'hyung'?

"Hyung?"

How am I still alive?

"Jin hyung?"

Oh yeah, they stopped me.

"Seokjin hyung?"

Again.

"Hm?"

"Are you alright? You've been there, staring at the window for who knows how long?"

Seokjin looked at Hoseok. The older sat on the couch just beside a window, the other sitting on the couch in front of Seokjin, leaning against the wall. He eyed the older who didn't make eye contact, pushing his lower lip forward.

"What's wrong hyung?" He asked, tilting his head, the older folding his legs and tucking them to his chest in response.

Hoseok sighed. "The rest are in the dance studio. They said they'll practice some few dance our overseas choreographers sent." He started. Maybe a normal conversation would ease up the elder. Just as he thought, a sigh made its way from the other's lips.

Hoseok chuckled, a smile tugging from the corner of his lips. "I highly doubt though."

Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows, not making eye contact with the other. By that simple response, Hoseok had hope.

"The last time we ever practiced was the night you ran." He muttered, turning his head to thr window that showed nothing but the plain, busy road of Seoul.

He had to be honest. Despite the fact that he can tell Seokjin was suffering from guilt.

"How come?"

Hoseok snapped his head when the utter escaped from his hyung's lips. He hummed, looking at the ceiling. "It's not worth it." He supressed.

The statement caught his guard off, Seokjin's head snapped towards the younger. Not a word came out of his mouth out of shock.

"It wasn't the same. That time, you had a different sched with us, I didn't know why." Hoseok admitted, his voice low. He was now fiddling with his thumbs, looking down at his hands. "T-The time that I got mad at you, I guess it started there."

"It was okay at first. But as time passed, the change of the atmosphere in the studio became noticeable when we no longer saw you practice with us." Hoseok stated, a bitter laugh followed. He grew quiet before licking his lips. "It wasn't the same without you hyung. The same night when you ran, we wanted to bond, perhaps make amends. We wanted to close the distance we had with each other."

The younger closed his eyes, a shaky sigh erupted from his throat. "But when we found out what had happened, we knew we were too late." He said, his voice unstable as Seokjin watched him intently.

"You were broken, we were unable to save you from it. In fact, we just contributed to making it worse when we didn't invite you whenever we went out." Hoseok kept going. He knew he had to say it. No, he wanted to say it. "W-We just left you alone, hyung."

Tears from his eyes started pooling as he inhaled.

"We're sorry hyung." His voice cracked as tears started to fall one by one. His shoulders shook as he wiped the tears away. He knew he was in no place of crying. "We're really sorry, hyung."

Later did he know, his sobs were muffled by a shoulder as weak arms pulled him. He was leaning on Seokjin's shoulder, his arms draped around the younger, a hand running up and down on his back.

"Don't cry, Hoseok-ah. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Hoseok shook his head. "No hyung. We failed to be those people who should take care of you. You took care of us, what did we do in return?" His voice wavered, tears continued to fall.

Seokjin no longer responded. He can't find the right words to say. He just let his younger cry on his shoulder, it had always been his job after all.

"Hyung?" Hoseok called.

"Hm?" Seokjin hummed, his free hand stroking the younger's hair.

"Can you trust us?"

Seokjin was taken back. "I do trust you, Hoseok-ah. What are you trying to say?"

"Because if you do, you would've told us what has been happening to you."

Seokjin looked down, both from guilt and shame. He was guilty for not trusting his youngers, but he was ashamed of what he had become, what he allowed himself to do to his own body and mind. It was everything a member of BTS should not have experienced or done to himself.

"Please hyung. How many times must we say, we can't lose you?" Hoseok pleaded, sobbing harder.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Hoseok pulled back, eyes red and puffy as he rubbed it.

"I should get take out, I'm craving for japchae all of a sudden." Hoseok said, standing up.

Seokjin stared at Hoseok.

"Lets go."

Hoseok turned to look up and saw Seokjin holding his wrist, pulling him towards the kitchen. Hoseok was about to protest until Seokjin rolled his up his long sleeves, exposing the uncomfortable sight of his scars that decorated his forearms, most of it popping up like bumps.

"H-Hyung-"

"I know you won't trust me with the knife Hoseok-ah. Do the cutting for me." Seokjin said before grabbing a pan.

Hoseok eyed the older. "Y-You're actually cooking?"

Seokjin turned towards the younger, tilting his head. "Don't you want me too?"

Hoseok jumped in surprise, running towards to get the chopping board. "Aish, what are you talking about hyung? I'm starting to cut, see? Go do what you need to do." Hoseok said, a tone that made Seokjin suppress a chuckle.

"I bet you missed my food, Hobi?" Seokjin joked, rolling his sleeves down, feeling a bit conscious.

Hoseok took note of the small action but smiled anyway, both from the nickname and what he responded Seokjin with.

"We all missed it hyung. We all did."