Amnesia [ h.s ]

Chapter 14 ~ Numb

"Be careful with too much joy, it can make you numb in life."

Harry's Point of View

"Thank you." She smiled at me while I was looking at the ground. Even though she was getting better, it hurt to see her like this. "I had forgotten how it was." She took her shoes off, and laid on her bed, while I laid by her side looking at the ceiling. It still had the little stars we both put so she wouldn't be scared of the dark. Every night she would count them, so she could fall asleep faster.

"I'm so tired." I pouted while turning my head to the side, so I could face her. A smile slowly appeared on her lips. The exact same smile as mine. Her dimples popping on both smiles, showing up our similarities.

She laughed a bit, her hands right bellow her head. "I thought you would, you never liked skating anyways."She rolled her eyes still smiling. "I can still do some jumps!" I could feel the excitement in her voice, making me even happier than I already was. "And spins, but even when I did competitive skating I wasn't great at them" She pouted, the same way I did before.

"Do you want me to spend the night here?" As I asked I could see the panic in her eyes. Even in moments like this, she thinks I shouldn't be with her, she thinks I shouldn't stay by her side and help her. It still hurts, I feel like she doesn't want me around. She immediatly said no, but I needed to stay. Not just for her, but for me as well. Tomorrow's the day it all happened, and I don't want to be alone, I need someone to support me. "Ariana." I close my eyes while shaking my head, already knowing how it would be in the morning. "Please." I grab her hand rubbing my fingers on it right after.

She quickly took her hand away from mine, getting up from the bed, looking out of the window. It was a really beautiful night, we could see the stars shining on the dark sky. The wind making a low, but beautiful melody. My eyes closed in despair. I couldn't be alone, I couldn't leave her alone. I got up slowly, walking up to her quietly. I was the only one who could help, nobody else, just me. And yet she didn't want to be helped.

I promised I would helped her, I promised I would protect her, but I wasn't even able to do that. I failed miserably. "Just leave, Harry." She turned to me, pushing me then to the bedroom door. "You know the way, no need to show you." This agonizing pain, seemed like knives slicing my heart. What about me? She never thinks of me, I need her. I need my sister, but even my sister can't support me. I have nobody. Nobody that cares.

-

The pain. This pain I felt every single year. I couldn't do anything about it, anything at all, and I still blame myself for it. I still feel like if it wasn't for me, it would all be the same. Yet again, I have to ruin everything for everyone, and now, I'm all by myself because of it. I look at the ground, playing with my fingers. I don't feel like crying, even though I'm near.

It should've been me, I should've been the one dying. Not them. Not all of them. Even though this thoughts are slowly killing me inside. I've never felt like this, not even in the last few years. I just want them again, I want them beside. I want to be happy again.

My left hand goes through my brown chocolate hair as I sigh. I feel like I'm about to explode. I get up faster than I could ever think of doing, running then towards my black car. As soon as I'm inside, I start driving towards I would never think of going. It's not that I need her, I need someone.