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we go into medicine because we want to save lives. we go into medicine because we want to do good. we go into medicine for the rush, for the high, for the ride. but, what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. what we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure. the lives we ruined or failed to save. so the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. the experience too often is ass backwards and upside down.
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anastasia stood beside mark in their patient's room, holding a chart under her arm and watched as the semi-small room began to fill up with nurses, residents and interns. mark waited a few minutes until everyone arrived and began presenting.
mark snapped on a pair of gloves and began examining the man's neck. "okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is nick hanscomb."
"hi." nick greeted the room full of people.
"nick was lucky enough to have me remove a large carotid body tumor from his neck." mark told them as he pulled back the bandage on nick's neck, showing his exposed post-op wound. "the fact that i was able to get clean boundaries is pretty darn impressive, even for me."
"congratulations." alex called out from the large group of doctors.
"don't interrupt. despite the fact that it was a wildly successful surgery, we had to dissect out deep lymph nodes in his neck." mark informed everyone in the room. "there is now only a delicate flap of skin between his carotid artery and the outside world. that said, what am i worried about?"
"i would think given the friability of the skin, that there's a great possibility that the, um, the artery could blow?" anastasia spoke up.
"right." mark confirmed her statement and took his gloves off and the doctors began mumbling amongst themselves.
nick most likely sensed the fear amongst the room now and quickly reassured them. "oh, don't worry. i've- i've heard this before."
"if that happens, whoever's in the room, i don't care if it's a doctor, a nurse, an orderly, your job is to stop the bleeding then page me, in that order." mark ordered everyone. "are we clear? any questions?"
"they look scared." nick admitted.
"they're medical professionals, nick." mark shrugged. "a healthy level of fear is encouraged."
"okay, then." nick began. "uh, if i do die, it will have been lovely meeting you all."
"see? the patient is confident. you should be confident. that's it." mark spoke and the room began to clear out.
☤☤☤
the sound of the heart monitor beeping rhythmically was the only sound that could be heard in nick's room as ana took his vitals, listening to his chest with her stethoscope.
