Erotic Book Club {E.B.C} 2018

January 12th - Feedback

I want to start by saying I think the story has a ton of potential, therefore I want to offer some suggestions that will help polish it up. My suggestion is to rewrite with more dialog into the first few chapters. There is too much narration. You can convey what is in the narration by creating dialog and thus making it more compelling to read. That definitely improves in chapter six. I'm sure you are aware of the need for editing and proofreading. It wasn't so bad that I couldn't read, but it breaks up the flow at times. If you don't have too much experience editing yet, you might be able to find someone willing to help with that on the boards. I think you're really good at descriptions. Your steamy scenes were hot and I like how the story is sex positive. The narrative really picks up when Sir comes into the picture. Keep writing and keep working on your book. You really have something there. I look forward to finishing it. ^_^

~Clarity

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Book Review: Into the Rabbit Hole

First, let me just start by saying that the concept is interesting. When I first started reading I thought it was going to be about another weak girl that lets the world beat her down but instead what I got was someone who was strong and smart and knew how to defend herself. That pleased me greatly.

While the idea of working at a sex club is odd to me, the way that it was written was so tastefully done that I found myself truly engaged in the material.

If I were to give my complete and honest thoughts, I would say work on grammar and spelling. There are words that I assume are meant to be other words but they are not being used in the correct context. This takes me out of the story because I find myself wondering if I am reading it correctly or if you meant to use that choice of word.

If you can resolve that issue I think you will have a true gem on your hands because the idea, the plot, the delivery, and the character development are all top notch. This is a story with a wealth of potential and I am so glad I had an opportunity to read it. Well done.

~Catherine

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The title for this book so fantastically sums it up. Reading through, it is wonderful to see Abbie spiraling into the Rabbit Hole and learning more about herself and her life in the process. It isn't only about sex, even though those scenes are undeniably hot, it is also about her coming out of her shell and discovering who she is in such a sex-positive way.

The first couple of chapters felt like a whirlwind summary. While it was nicely written enough that I wouldn't call it an info dump, it did feel like we were being told a lot in one go. It did set up the drama quite well though. One thing that I did want to mention is that there are several places where the same spelling/grammatical mistakes are repeated. That is nothing that a little editing/extra proofing won't fix. The grammar in the title may warrant a little attention as well- I think (and I will happily be proven wrong here) that it should be "Its Sinful Delights" rather than "It's Sinful Delights". The only other thing that really came to mind is that I would have loved a little something more about safety and consent for Abbie in the club- sure, she is going there to engage in sex work, but that doesn't mean that her uncle or the always-lovely Mel, wouldn't at least brush over. It is good for readers who may not know about the scene to see this as an important part of kink-play/work.

Really though, the story is great. The characters are lively and engaging, and I have to say that the scenes in the club... phwoar! Talk about hot. I think that the way that you do so well describe the sensations that Abbie is feeling. It really highlights the fact that she can only feel and hear, not see. It comes across extremely well, and I am looking forward to seeing where this story takes Abbie. I can only hope that things don't get too much crazier for her! She's had a rough couple of years!

~Liv

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Okay, so I think it has a very cute vibe. Like a mentioned before it reminds of the book The Summer I Turn Pretty. The main character is very goal driven. For me personally, I can connect with the characters because I am also in college and have goals for myself. For people that are in their 18 to 25 would be a great target for your book and also will connect with it.
The description was good and I really like how much mental dialogue you have for your characters. As the reader, you are able to really understand who they are as a person in this world you created. It can make your character very likable or easily disliked. But I am glad you did this in your book.