Desiderium

If I were a Boy.

(Note: The following poetry is just a first draft)

To be a girl is perhaps a Bane

Chuck the past.Its long gone, forgotten and lost.

So... No talking about patriarchy inflicted, Souls suppressed , lost of breath.

Lets talk fast.Talk present.Talk practical. Talk sense.

The awful ideologies of the past have Faded but aren't gone.

Traces of which are seen in almost every toll.

Man pride rises and dare I mess that mind,

Respect or face the wrath of the demon that lay inside that man.

Fear that is this creeps in every girls soul grows and grows as things flow.

That makes her regret her being.

With the fear of unwanted touch creeping through the sides as she climbs up the jam cramped bridge at the Dadar station to cross sides,

I'm a girl who wishes she were a boy.

Rushing to find her way home before the tick-tock-tick turns too late for her to roam safe,

I'm a girl who wishes she were a boy.

Oh and may the lord save her,

When she tries to feel her face.

For god forbid there's a guy there outside waiting to cross her way.

To punish me for having committed the crime of rejecting him in my sane mind.

Oh what a blessing would it be to be a boy.

Who leaps to catch up with the moving bus and hoping she'll find a seat so she doesn't have to embrace the touch of the unknown while walking to reach the door,

I'm a girl who wishes she were a boy.

Who takes hours to dress up.

Is it too showing?Is it too bold?Will I be questioned? Does my face look tanned?Does my thigh look fat?

To keep up with the beauty standards

hush hush hush no one can know.

I'm a girl who wishes she were a boy.

Who sips her tea not coffee and flips through the pages of the paper reading and accepting deep within,what her society is. And where she shall stand.

She flips forward and comes across the tormenting news of the life of the child dragged into the business of the night.

She fails to fathom how she is even safe?

Her hands tremble and she screams loud in pain but through it all she has a straight face.

She cringes at the thought.Her breath turns heavy and she closes her eyes.

She swipes through her phone to ease her mind,

#justiceforzainab #hangtheman #howmanymorezainabs #justiceforthekid

#thestoryofthetalwars #justiceforaarushi #justicefortalwars

Hashtag Hashtag Hashtag Hashtag

Riots strikes Riots strikes riots

Trafficking kidnapping dumping

Rape murder assault left no hault

.

.

.

Pause.

She feels claustrophobic. She heaves.She chokes.Her lungs ache finding it hard to breathe. She gasps for air.She palpitates.Her vision seems to blur. Black patches through her brain. It pains.Her eyes turn red.Her eyes turn wet.Her throat runs dry. Her finger turn cold. She can't see.It shivers-Her soul.

Play.

It's all blank.Its all dark.

As she lay hopeless suffering within.The only thing she wonders.

"Its such a curse to be a woman."

She is you,she is me.

I'm a girl who wishes she were a boy.

-y.v