New kid// GRETHAN

seventeen

Ethans pov

I walked home and ran straight to my bedroom. I crawled in my bed and laid in a ball. Tears began to stream down my face and ran down the sides of my cheeks. I honestly couldn't tell you why I was crying exactly, it felt like everything that was stressing me out was like bricks on a feeble wall and that all it took was for a weak blow of wind for it to come crashing down on me.

I felt powerless and stressed. I found myself in the middle of a mental breakdown. I couldn't take it anymore and I was throwing a tantrum. The room was spinning and my brain was becoming fuzzy, I was struggling for a breath of air.

Grayson would never love me like this, he wouldn't love me ever. He deserves better than me, all I am now is just a crying mess who shuts people out and lets them down. I was fine just a few hours ago but something clicked. I walked over to my desk and pulled out my journal and began writing.

a few hours later

I was finished with my letter to Grayson.

Graysons pov.

I laid in my bed wondering why Ethan rushed out of my house. I heard a knock on the door and I ran down the stairs. I opened the door but no one was there. I looked down and there was a letter on the doormat. I pick it up and sit on the couch and read it.

Dear Grayson,

We have been together for a while now and I just wanted to say that I'm so very sorry but, here is how I also feel. When I'm with you I feel safe and I feel like no one else is around and that I have nothing to worry about because I'm happy. Whenever i think about you, my heart skips a beat and my breath hitches. I can't believe I was able to call you mine. The way your hair looks effortlessly perfect and the way your smile makes me smile because of how beautiful it is. The way your eyes twinkle under those fairy lights. I love the way your face glows when you talk about your favorite things like about how much you love pizza or how you love to decorate your room because you want it to be aesthetically pleasing. I adore the way your body looks and its kind of a shame that you don't show it off a bit more. I don't think you understand how beautiful I think you are, inside and out. I love your cheeky smile and your lovely laugh. Basically, I'm just saying that I'm in love with you and everything about you, but, with every nice thing, there is a bad thing and it's not anything with you, it's myself. My anxiety attacks get so bad I feel like I'll die and sometimes I want to. I can't imagine a life without you but I feel like its only right if I'm honest with you. When I left your house it was because I felt an attack and it was one of my worse ones. Being alone really does things to your mind and health but, you've fixed me in a way. I have stopped texting people or responding to people because I feel stressed out but with you, I make an effort. I try for you but when I get home I cry. I just want to forget everyone and just have you in my arms but I feel that if I don't respond to people they will get mad and I don't know I just want everyone to forget me so that I could be by myself and there is only one way of having everyone forget me is to just get rid of myself. I love you, baby.

Love, Ethan <3

MKay one more chapter after this and yea and shitty fucking ending but I'm stressing over this story and I just want it to be over already im sorry but thanks for being patient. I've also had 4 mental breakdowns this month and I'm actually having one atm but moral of the story is that people fucking suck and boys suck because they will tell you how much they adore you and stupid shit and then call you best friend and ask you advice on how he can please your FUCKING FRIEND!!!! okay, sorry storytime over.