i'm sorry | ethan dolan

senior year, yay!

chapter six
——mackenzie's pov
september 2nd, 2019

the first day of school was all blue skies, bright sunshine, and balmy breezes, like mother nature was laughing at us and mocking us for having to sit inside all freaking day. but i was so nervous as my mother and i walked up the steps toward the junior and senior entrance of west morris high that i barely even noticed the nice weather. my vision had homed in on all the important players outside, like i was sizing up a battle scene or something.

kylie was chatting with faith kirkpatrick on one of the stone benches outside the door, kylie in comfortable brown linen shorts and a white tank top, faith sporting her requisite minidress. god, i could barely even look at kylie. she'd had sex with ethan. she'd seen my boyfriend naked. or, at least partially naked. how naked had they actually gotten? had it been short and fumbly and awkward or lingering and breathless and—

"mackenzie, don't forget we're tasting cakes after school today." my mom spoke up.i blinked at my mom, trying to replace the image of sweaty skin with pink icing roses.
"right. okay."

my attention immediately returned to kylie.
if she was upset, she was doing a fab job at hiding it. flipping her hair, waving to friends, shrieking over some text faith showed her.
a group of football players stood nearby in maroon and white jerseys, and one of them, tyler glassn, kept angling toward kylie like he was trying to hear what she was saying. madeline was nowhere to be seen, but hammond stood next to the double glass doors with his arms crossed and a glower on, like he was a bouncer intent on keeping pasty dorks out of his exclusive club. the glower, of course, was directed at ethan, who stood a few feet away, laughing with connor, josh, grayson, and the idiot twins. he had a small, purple pink bruise next to his left eye, which hadn't been there last night. had he gotten in another fight after leaving john's house, or had i just not noticed it?

i paused a couple of steps from the top. my mom looked back at me. her dark brown hair was up in a loose bun and she was wearing a colorful plaid pencil skirt and blue buttondown shirt. i saw connor shale check out her ass and just knew what he was thinking: hot librarian. made me want to gag, but she had been working out a lot for the wedding and even i'd noticed that she was indeed looking prettier than ever lately.

"everything okay, hon?" she asked.
my eyes flicked to where the guys were standing. ethan hadn't noticed us yet.
"yeah. i guess i just feel a little old to be walking into school with my mommy."
she smiled and tilted her head. "so i guess no kiss for luck, then?"
i smirked. my mom had never been one for humiliating public displays of affection.
"not this year," i joked back.
"shucks. and i even wore my new red lipstick for the occasion."
"hilarious mom. hilarious," i said.
"have a good day, mackenzie," she replied with a wry smile. then she turned and walked inside, pretending she didn't notice connor practically falling over for a better look.

with a deep breath i approached ethan. i could feel the junior girls watching me. i wondered how many people knew ethan and i were together. i wondered if they cared. then ethan  turned and saw me, and nothing those people knew or thought or believed mattered.

he was completely beautiful and i was in love with him and he was mine. whatever happened over the summer was in the past.
right now, this minute, he was mine.

i walked right up to him, slipped my arms around his neck, and gave him a long, firm kiss, pressing away the images of his body against kylie's. every inch of me relaxed and i felt like we were the only two people there. everyone else faded into gray. that was when i knew for sure that i had made the right decision—that i was doing the right thing.

ethan broke away first. by that time, his friends were catcalling and laughing. over his shoulder i saw hammond roll his eyes and storm inside. i forced myself not to check for kylie's reaction.