These Fucking Roses [KiriBaku] {Completed}

I Can't Be a Hero Like This

"No." I look up, intensely glaring at the five of them.

"There is no way, I'm telling you guys who my love is. If I do, you guys will never let me see them again, right? You'll keep me from seeing them at all costs. At that rate, you guys will just end up hurting me just as much as the fucking flowers are now." I say, before standing up and storming off, wincing as I did so.

"Katsuki!"

"I'M FUCKING FINE LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shout back, opening the door and slamming it shut behind me.

"H-Hey Bakubro."

I freeze.

My fucking chest feels tight again. My breathing hitched as I feel those needle like vines tighten around my raw lungs.

I look over at that red-head, meeting his eyes.

He looked shit. He had bags under his eyes, his smile was weak, his eyes were dull, he was paler. He looked tired as fuck.

"Woah, man, what's wrong with you?" I ask, not really caring about how much worse I looked.

"Just tired. Wanna walk together?" Was his simple reply. This isn't like him.

My chest tightened. My lungs stung, yet I nodded. We walked in silence. I kept stealing small glances of him, noticing that his uniform was a mess, and his hair was scruffy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks, quiet. Unlike him. He was scaring the shit out of me, but I complied.

"I-I guess I just knew how you'd react. I knew that if I told anyone, they would tell a teacher, which would lead me to the shit hole I'm in now. Unable to do shit. And it gets me wandering—"

I pause. I haven't really spoken that openly and willingly to anyone about his. Sure, I literally just talked about it a few minutes earlier. But it didn't feel the same.

"It got me wandering how the fuck I was gonna become a hero. No training whatsoever. Being babied pitied. I don't need that. You think heroes are being pitied cuz of some shorty disease? No. They're fucking strong and stay put. Yet, now my secret is out, and I'm gonna be treated like a fucking child."

I've slowed down at this point. I can feel Kirishima's intense stare as I look at the floor, avoiding eye contact for a reason. My chest keeps twisting and contracting, and I keep talking.

"And what's gonna happen in the future, huh? I can't go on a patrol and not do shit cuz of flowers. I can't be fighting a villain and waiting for them to stop so I can vomit those shitty plants. I—"

We've stopped by now. We've reached my dorm, but I continue. For some reason. It feels good to vent. To let out all of these shitty feelings I've had for what feels like an eternity. To have someone that will listen.

"I—I—i dont want to accept it, b-but I know it's true. I—I c-can't be a hero like this. There is no way I can be a number one hero with shitty flowers slowly eating away at my lungs. F-Fuck, I—I don't know w-what to do. I—"

Warm and strong arms pull me into a strong and comforting embrace. I let the comforting sensations engulf me as I enjoy the slight feeling of being safe. Cared for. Loved.

But it's not like that.

He's just being a supportive friend. That's all.

There is no way that Kirishima could ever love someone like me.

A jerk.

A fuck up.

An asshole.

A weakling.

A monster.

A freak.

A failure.

There is no way he could love someone as shitty as me.

The prickling sensation starts to become stronger now.

"Hey, dont say that. You are a fantastic to-be-hero. You have so much potential. So what if a few flowers get in the way? They shouldn't stop you from achieving your goal." He says as he pulls away.

I feel a hand on my cheek, forcing me to look up into those ruby eyes.

Shit. The flowers are really eating me away right now.

"We care about you, so so much. Understand? It hurts so much to see you like this, so fight through it."

If only...

They're rising.

"For me."

...I could

The thorns are tightening around me lungs as I feel my wind pipe getting adorned with deadly flowers.

Our noses are touching, eyes still intensely looking into mine.

I can feel his warm breath on my lips.

I wanted it.

I wanted it so much.

I wanted to feel his lips against my own. I wanted to run my fingers through is gorgeous hair. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and kiss him. Show him how much he fucking meant to me.

But there was no way.

No way he could ever love someone like me.

Feeling little oxygen able to get through, I push him away and lock myself in my dorm, sprinting towards the bathroom.