𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

'Youngblood' by 5sos (Calum Hood Smut / The Youngblood Series)

But then she turns around, and she takes a deep breath before her eyes land on me. She looks at me as if seeing me was her deepest desire, as if right now a power beyond us granted her her big wish... Or at least I want to think that this is how she is looking at me. 
"Hi, Cal. Happy New Year." She smiles weakly. She looks like she has had one too many, her shoes on her hand showing me that she definitely has. 
"Happy New Year. What... What are you doing here?" I ask her, crossing my arms in front of my chest. She takes a step towards me, stopping at least 4 feet away from me. 
"I... Can I please come in?" She asks, looking at her feet. I move from the door, motioning her to get into the house. She moves slowly, not looking at me still. I turn on the lights as I shut the door behind us. 
"Not much has changed since my last time here..." She mumbles. 
"Are you here to comment on the interior design of the house we used to share?" I ask her, losing my patience at this point. 
"No, no... Of course not." She replies, letting her clutch on the little island by the entrance. 
"Then why are you here, (Y/N)? Why are you here, on New Year's Day? Why are you here, at 4 in the freaking morning? Why are you here, 2 months after the last time I saw you?" I ask her, feeling my jaw tensing up. 
"You are lying, it has been a week since the last time that you saw me." She comments and I chuckle. 
"Right. And you looked plenty great with your new fling. So why are you here?" I ask her and she looks at me with her eyebrows knitted. 
"My new fling? He wasn't my..." She begins and I interrupt her. 
"I don't care what he is, or was, or will be. I care about the reason you are here. So, why are you here?" I ask her, this time my voice louder than before. 
"It is possible that I... I've missed you, Cal. And I regret breaking up with you." She states, staring at me for my reaction. I chuckle sarcastically, bringing my hand to cover my face as I turn my back to her. 
"You have to be fucking shitting me. YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING SHITTING ME." I scream, muffling my face with my hands. 
"Am I a toy to you, (Y/N)? Am I a fucking toy that you can toss and then pick up based on your mood?" I ask her, turning back to look at her as I take a breath to calm down.  
"Of course you are not, Calum." She protests, her face turning red as well. 
"Then why are you here today? You wanted to break up, you hurt me and you probably hurt yourself, and after 2 months of leaving me licking my wounds to heal them, you decide to come over and screw me up all over again. What is wrong with you? What do you want from me?" I exasperate, walking towards her. She doesn't flinch away, she doesn't move, she plants her feet on the ground and stares back at me. 

"Please, don't act like the break up was entirely my fault. You were distant, you were pushing me away on a daily basis. I was there, waiting for you, giving you everything I had, and getting nothing in return. So, no, it is not my fault we broke up, at least not entirely. And what I want, scratch that, what I wanted was to tell you how miserable I am without you, how much I fucking love you, still, even after being ignored by you for so long. I wanted to talk to you, see if there is a way we could get a new start. But obviously, I am being too much of a bother. So, I am going to wish you a Happy New Year, swallow my pride and get walk out of your life, for good this time, don't worry." She screams back at me, picking up her clutch from the island. 
"Just one thing before I leave. I hope, I pray to God, that every time you looking at someone, anyone really, I hope all you can see is me. Because that's what my life has been since the day I walked out that door." She whispers, her voice breaking as she tears up. 

I stare at her, completely speechless; all this time I thought that I was the only person suffering. 
I hate seeing her crying; it makes me feel gross, like the worst person in the world. 
"You can't leave." I state, walking in front of the door. 
"Move away from the door." She hisses, wiping away her tears as she tries to push me away. 
"No. I won't let you leave again." I insist. 
"Let me go." She stomps her foot on the floor. 
"No. When I told you that I will love you till the day I die, I meant it. I am not letting you walk out of my life. Not again." I state and cup her face. She looks at me through her lashes, sniffling as I stroke her cheek. 
"I am going to kiss you now." I state, leaning in towards her. I stop inches away from her lips, as she nods her head for approval. I move my lips, but barely graze her, feeling as her hot breath comes out of her mouth short and forced. 
"And then I am going to punish you for what you put me through." I whisper, still not giving in. 
She whimpers, getting agitated as I stall our first kiss after so long. 
"And then I am going to wrap my arms around you and never let you leave again. Got it, pretty girl?" I ask her and she groans frustrated. 
"You could just do all those things to me instead of telling me." She protests, standing on her toes as she tries to steal a kiss. 
"Where is the fun of that? I like watching you melt into a puddle for me. And did you just talked back to me? Did you forget what happens when you talk back to me?" I chuckle, grabbing her chin and tilting it up. 
"Maybe you need to remind me." She smirks at me and bites her lip.