Two Sided

Nothing really ends, Chpt 46

V closed his eyes and set the cup in his lap, playing with it. "....She loves Taehyung, but Taehyung is me, so she loves me... I'm sure of it. We're the same person, and I don't care if she hits me, kicks me, throws cookware at me, locks me outside or yells hurtful things at me, because even if I didn't love her, I love Taehyung and he wouldn't want to hurt her or make her sad. I just...I need a break from her. I need it...I'm fucking sore and I haven't slept in three days, school is even harder than before and I-I just want rest, Hyun...."

"Why haven't you slept, V?"

V went stiff and bit his bottom lip, hands balling the fabric of his jeans as his entire body went the nose. Hyun kept staring the boy down until he gulp, nodding. "Taehyung comes out when I'm asleep, and when I wake up I can't come out until Taehyung lets me...."

Hyun frowned. "So staying awake is the only control you have over him..."

V frowned and nodded.

Hyun sighed and shook his head. "You constantly being exhausted will only worsen your mental state. Are you not even able to go co-conscious?"

"No..."

"Have you been taking the medication I prescribed to you?"

"No...Taehyung doesn't like it.

"Vante, you want my help. And I'm trying to help. But you aren't accepting what you're asking for."

"Hyun-"

Hyun grabbed V's shoulders and made the younger look at him, hazel eyes staring into V's light ones, searching for an answer, for anything that could help him. "You can trust me. Because I'm here until you're safe. When you're safe, I'll leave you alone. When You're safe, I'll stop asking you questions that deal with her, but until then I need you to trust me and to tell me, Vante."

V felt his bottom lip tremble, feeling conflicted by the feeling. He wanted to tell him, to let everything out and to yell out that he didn't like- that he hated being treated like his grandma's rag doll while Taehyung got all the special treatment.

He hated how he was seen as the real human and how V was seen as nothing but a waste of space and air. But another part told him he'd regret it, that he'd regret outting his only family member out like that. And he didn't want to be a part of it. A part of all the conflicting thoughts and all of the feelings that scurried about in his chest and mind, mingling and mixing with each other to discuss what was right and wrong.

He closed his eyes and nodded. "......" Hyun smiled and stroked V's back and the younger sighed, eyes staying close. "Get ready to write...because this is the only time I'm telling you..." 

Hyun nodded and stood up quickly, grabbing the pen and pad before sitting back down next to him, clicking the pen. "...She calls me nasty names. Says If I make sounds while hitting me that I'll disappoint her and mom. She....said that seeing you was a mistake."

Hyun scribbled on the paper before putting it in his lap, setting the pen on top of it. "Why would she say that? I'm here to help you. Do you agree, Vante?"

"I know you are. But she- I don't-" V went quiet and his eyes narrowed into the cup. He stare at the contents of it, head slowly leaning to the side as he slightly wobbled in place. His eyes stared far off into the distance at nothing, pupils dilating. 

"Vante?"

The young male narrowed his eyes and glanced at the pen in Hyun's lap before closing them again. "You spelled 'continuously afflicting' wrong....There's only one L in afflicting."