Every Last Piece

chapter ten

After a final puff of her smoke, Val flicks it out the window. I wait for her to respond, but she says nothing.

"My point is," I say, "I'm starting to like him, and it freaks me out because he isn't someone I ever pictured myself being with. And a big part of me thinks we're better off as friends."

"Staying friends would be the safest way for no one to get hurt."

"Exactly."

"But if you like him that much, wouldn't it also hurt to watch him start dating someone else? He won't wait forever."

My chest knots up. Val's right, Carson never stays single for long. "I just don't like being alone," he'd said to me that night at the beach.

These days, I don't like to be alone, either. My nights have become occupied with thoughts of what it'd be like to have Carson alone with me.

"My point is," Val says, "it wouldn't kill you to give him a chance. Just lay down the law and say you'll dump him if he does drugs or whatever."

"Threatening never kept my dad clean."

This conversation is going nowhere good, so I scan outside for anything to give me a new topic. Fire hydrant, World War II memorial tank, community service worker, Mom...

Wait, Mom?

Walking through the winding pathway of the park, my mom's blue sundress blows in the wind behind her. A man in a burnt orange shirt is next to her. I thought she looked extra pretty when she left this morning, but I didn't know she was meeting with some guy. Mom doesn't date. She hasn't been on a single one since Dad left.

"There's my mom," I say, "but who's she with?"

"Oh my God." Val grabs my arm. "Jill, are you blind? That's my brother."

"No way."

"They're holding hands!"

We shift up in our seats to get a better look. My eyes must be playing tricks on me, because no way is my mother holding hands with Matias Rivera right now.

But they are. And they're smiling.

To quote Grandma: When, why, and how in God's name did this happen?

Val and I sit in a horrified silence and watch Mom and Matias converge with the sidewalk. He holds the door to Robin's Coffee open for her, and she smiles bashfully as she slips under his arm, and then they're out of sight.

"What the fuck," Val says.

"Why?" I ask, but it's more rhetorical than anything. "Why would my mom keep this from me? If they're holding hands already, this isn't new... and she has been going out a lot lately, but she always says it's with friends. Has she been lying to me?"

A small, but cold betrayal stings me. I never thought much about what would happen if Mom started dating again, but I figured she'd trust me enough to tell me. And to date my best friend's brother is a whole other level of weird.

"Okay, we need to talk about this now," Val says. "When did this happen? 'Cause he didn't tell me either."

"I don't know. This is so weird." I rub my temples. "Okay, let's take a step back. Maybe it's not that weird. I mean, they're pretty close in age. Matias is what, twenty-eight? And my mom's thirty-four..."

"He's my brother, Jill. I can't even confront him because I'm working tonight."

"I know. I never even remotely pictured something like this happening. I didn't even know they talked!"