I finally felt happy, for awhile.
I finally felt okay, for awhile.
I finally didn't saw the world so cruel as it is anymore...
But why did i believe i was getting better? When i could've known that i would sink back into my usual self, my depressed self.
The most cruel of it is that i got so used to feel so much pain... That i started to feel nothing anymore.
You probably understand feeling no emotions really sucks. So if you agree with me, please clap your hands or scream of just do something weird, because i am just so weird. (Acutually i don't really have a reason for you to do that, i just have to fill this page 'till it's a reasonable story)
You might think: 'if there's a cruel part, will there be more parts?' the answer is yes. I got one more part for you, that's the weird part.
Anyways the weird of all this is that people apparently think i really am getting better. Those stupid blind people the world is filled with...
Well let me explain myself:
- i'm crying myself to sleep every fucking night
- i got scars all over my body (and crazy enough nobody notice them, i mean it's not like i'm overhiding it or something)
- i hate everything. Specially people.
- the only thing i look forward to when i wake up is to go sleep again.
Dear people, i know i'm good at hiding i'm in so fucking much pain. BUT THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN I'M GETTING BETTER!
("People please have respect for me, i made this in the middle of the night at 4:30AM because i couldn't sleep... I didn't sleep that night")
YOU ARE READING
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Randommy diary - depression - self harm - anxiety - disorders ***TRIGGER WARNING: INCLUDES SELF HARM PICS***
