Leaving Him - A Canem Story

CHAPTER 10 - You're Mine Again ...

They dined together that evening as they would not be able to do it for a couple of weeks. Sanem was happy that Can would resume his job as a photographer but she was feeling very unsecure about the location of his shooting. It was true to say that the Syrian border was not the safest place to be at the moment ... But it was important for Can ... He would go there to take pictures for an International Humanitarian Organization, using his reputation to promote their upcoming campaign.

Can could feel Sanem's tension building up. She was worried for him ... After all he was the father of her child so nothing surprising about it. He also knew that she cared for him so he tried to reassure her with light chit-chat about the upcoming wedding, the rumours at the office and Cey Cey's latest phobia ...

It was past nine o'clock when Can decided to go upstairs to finish packing and spend some time with Alba. Sanem stayed downstairs to take care of the dishes. She also wanted to give him some privacy with their daughter. But, above all, she didn't want him to see her shaken up by anxiety and worry. She was washing the same plate for the umpteenth time when a deep voice startled her from her reverie.

"Sanem? Aren't you going to put Alba to bed? It's already late for her you know ..."

"Sorry ... Coming! Coming!" she replied, folding the towel onto the kitchen table. She turned round and there he was, smiling at her, more handsome than a Greek statue. Her gaze met his eyes and she threw herself against his chest, hugging him as tight as she could.

"Sanem!" he coughed, "What's wrong?"

"You have to promise me that you'll be careful ... Think of Alba ... please?" she pleaded. "Will you give me your word?"

Can hugged her back, filling his lungs with the enchanting scent that was hers, pulled back and framed her face within his large hands.

"Sanem! Look at me! Look at me!" he ordered.

She complied reluctantly.

"I promise you that I will come back for Alba ..." he hesitated but carried on, "for you ... Okay? Don't be sad, Honey ... It's only a matter of two weeks, two very short weeks ...Okay?"

Sanem didn't respond. The words were stuck in her throat, blocked by the emotions that were overwhelming her. She tried a little smile and nodded. She set herself free from his embrace and ran upstairs to Alba's bedroom. She prepared everything for the night, kissed her daughter and closed the door. Once safe inside her bedroom and out of focus, she couldn't hold back her tears ... She hadn't even been able to tell him how she felt, how she loved him desperately... Not a word. She sat on her bed, pulled up the pillow and retrieved the picture that Hüma had given her during her last visit.

"I have been such a fool ..." she sighed. "Stupid Sanem!" she commented looking at the photo taken on the day when Alba was born. The baby was in her arms, Can radiant, standing up next to them. She had always been convinced that Alba was the unique reason why he had been so adamant about them staying with him, in Istanbul. But she had it all wrong ...

"As usual," sneered the inner voice.

There it was. An indisputable proof of his love for her. In the hospital room, at that very moment, Can was not looking at Alba ... No ... He was looking at Sanem with such pride, with such adoration shining in his eyes that even a blind man would have seen it in a dark room. She scoffed at her own self-deception, her own prejudice, her own stupidity ... She would never learn, would she?

Alba's crying stopped her pitiful considerations. She dried off the remaining tears on her face and opened the door but Can had been faster. He was already with his daughter in his arms sitting down on the settee by the cot. In the corridor, standing up next to the door that had been left ajar, Sanem contemplated the loves of her life.