Shrekigi

Love.

I walked towards the produce section eyeing the bananas.

Flies were circling them. I laid my hand on some bananas that had no flies on them.

Another man laid his hands on the same exact bananas.

I looked up, a skinny, tall, lanky, zombie looking man with a tennis racket stood in front of me.

I jumped in surprise.

He was glorious. I ran out of the produce section into the meat area. I was surrounded by low quality moldy ass meat.

He ran after me and put his hand on my shoulder. I was startled, I locked my eyes on him. He did the same to me. We stood before each other. I heard fast heavy footsteps heading our direction. A thicc short man stomped before the tall, skinny man.

"WALUIGI WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT STARING AT OTHER MEN!"

The skinny man's name was Waluigi. He looked down in sadness, his w-shaped mustache drooped.

"Im sorry Wario.."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! CALL ME DADDY THICC!"

Waluigi blushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry D-daddy thicc..."

"Thats right!"

He pinched Waluigi's ear and dragged him out of the store.

I ran after him.

"NO WAIT!"

Wario grabbed a gun and pushed it against Shrek's forehead.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!"

I gulped.

Waluigi stood up curling his long slim fingers into fists.

"I'M TIRED OF YOUR ABUSE WARIO!"

"IT'S DADDY THIC-"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Wario pinched Waluigi harder.

"I'M GOING TO PUNISH YOU WHEN WE GET HOME!"

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

I roared with all my ogre might.

Wario locked eyes with mines in anger.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!"

Wario roared stomping his stubby leg in anger.

I noticed Wario had pockets full of gold.

"So you like money eh?"

Wario calmed down.

"I do...and?.."

"If I give you some money will you set Waluigi free?"

He tilted his head.

"How much?"

"$50"

"HAND IT OVER!"

I didn't trust handing it to him.

He might trick me.

I threw my wallet into the middle of the road.

"WAHH MY CASH!"

Wario ran after the cash.

A car then rammed into him.

But instead of getting ran over, he bounced and broke though Fiona's bedroom window.

A scream came from the home.

Waluigi looked at me.

Admiration and affection present in the small black orbs he had for eyes.

"T-thank you....Shrek"