Belladonna Rose: An Emo Explanation.

Confessions and thoughts

I want to tell you guys a true story about me. Here is how this story all went.

It was very unsmart of me to (1) not wear my ballet shoes, (2) whore fluffy socks, and (3) dance without supervision in which I still do. My Ballet shoes at the time had become unrepairable around the pads at the bottom for me at that point and That's why I didn't want to use them. They had lost so much support in them too that I thought to just ditch them. I didn't want the bottom of my feet to peel while I was dancing so I put on some socks. I did a turn, missed a chance to properly grip and slipped, falling on my hip. It hurt so bad I almost yelled and I was on that floor shaking in pain. I laid there for a good hour before I got up, still in pain in my hip. I sat in the steaming hot shower and went to bed that night thinking that it would clear up by the next afternoon. The afternoon I had Marry Poppins dance rehearsals. Of course it hurt throughout the day and the pain felt wrong, but no. I kept saying to myself out of my love for dance, "It's just a stupid injury and it will not hold me back. Not today." I tell you that when I stepped out onto the rehearsal grounds and started rehearsing, in the next few moves, the pain got so bad, I realized I was wrong and went to a corner to lay down. Next thing you know, I was out for two months until I jumped back it repeating the same quote so I wouldn't get dropped from the play. I said it to myself to the very end through all of the pain and doubtful thoughts. I also remember that one day, I had a panic attack the day of one of our final dress rehearsals days that I didn't show up for the scene on stage and couldn't tell the co-directer what was wrong because If I have a panic attack, I can't talk. It is extremely hard. The Directer (who was the teacher) gave me such a hard time that I bruised myself on my arms the day before the first performance. I woke up crying in the middle of the night. I also remember covering them up with foundation and heavy concealer in the bathroom stall and going on faking it like I was happy until I spotted one of my friend's in the crowd causing me to loosen up in the first bank scene. I kept covering up my bruises until they were gone from then on. I took a lot of beatings to myself freshmen year of high school.