breathe me in (sr)

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warning: a little fluff in the beginning but gradually becomes sad towards the end

prompt: "daddy, why is mommy crying?" "it's nothing, you'll find out when you're older."
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after a long, overwhelming case of work, spencer pressed the down button on the elevator, ready to head home. they returned from Los Angles from a weeks worth case at around seven thirty, but after completing his paper work he didn't end up leaving the building until quarter after eleven. spencer started his car and drove the 13 miles that it took to get back to his family at home.

he stepped onto the porch of the two story house and fished for his keys in his pocket. as soon as he twisted the door handle he could hear the pitter patter of footsteps coming towards the doorway. "daddy!" his three year old said whilst throwing herself around his legs. spencer sighed and picked up the child and kissed her temple. "i missed you so much, daddy." she mumbled against his shoulder. he smiled, "i missed you too, what have you been up to?" he asked as he set her back down and observed the messy living room. it was littered with sheets of construction paper and crayons. "mommy told me to draw her something pretty to make her feel better, so i tried and tried but it not look good." she mumbled picking up a drawing and handing it to him. he looked at the drawing of what looks like a replica of a bouquet of flowers. "i think it's beautiful." he furrowed his eyebrows. "do you know where mommy is?" she nodded and tugged on his hand.

his daughter led him upstairs to the bathroom where she had seen her mother run off to earlier. "she seemed really sad, and that was the last time i saw her." he frowned sadly and knocked on the door. "y/n, you okay?" after not receiving an answer he opened the door and saw her sitting in the bath water with her knees to her chest.

he quickly sat beside her on the floor and coaxed her. "i'm so sorry." she choked out through her sobs. "sorry about what, y/n?" he asked, pushing some hair away from her wet face. "we..we were gonna have a little boy.. and i lost him. i lost him spence.." spencer felt his heart shatter into tiny little pieces as he watched his wife break down in front of him. he stood up and headed towards the door. "spencer please don't leave." y/n whined from the tub. "i'm not leaving, i just need to put hollie to bed."

he opened the door to find hollie sitting against the wall beside him. "daddy, why is mommy crying?" she asked looking up at him through her green eyes. "it's nothing, you'll find out when you're older okay? now, let's get you to bed. it's really late." she then yawned ironically and nodded. he led her to her bedroom and helped her climb into bed. "daddy, do you have time to read me a bed time story?" she asked snuggling into a blue stuffed dog. he frowned sadly, "not tonight princess, i'm sorry. get some sleep, i love you." he leaned down and hugged her and kissed her forehead. "i love you more daddy. tell mommy that too." he smiled, "i will. goodnight."

he left hollie's purple night light on and cracked her bedroom door. before heading back to the bathroom, he grabbed a towel, a pair of his boxers, and a shirt of his to give to y/n. spencer walked back into the bathroom and ran into y/n, who was exiting the bathroom already wrapped in a towel. "y/n.. it's not your fault. you know that right?" he rubbed her arm softly. she nodded and sniffed, "i know. i just feel so bad. it's like i can't recover from this." her voice wavered as her eyes met his. he felt tears start to form in his eyes, so he pulled her in a tight hug so that she wouldn't see him break down, not now at least. she sobbed into his chest and squeezed her arms around him.

they stood in the dark hallway for a few more moments before silently retiring to their bed for the rest of the night, taking in the loss of their unborn child.

738 words ; lovelygubler

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