The Other Side Of Me

The rest is a blur

We take our shots and I feel amazing. Clarke keeps ordering more and more od shots and I take more.

We've been just sitting, talking and taking shots for like an hour and I think I feel little bit tipsy.

"Let's go phaartheyyy..!" I say and point to the dance floor. I get up and almost fall down. I take Clarke's hand partly to pull Clarke to go dance with me and partly cause I need her to support me cause I can't stay up. My feet keep staggering but I maintain to keep myself standing.

"Oh shit." I hear Clarke saying. She gets up and laughs. don't know why she's laughing but I start laughing too.

"Hhahahah! What's so funny, babe?" I giggle and hug my girlfriend. God I love her.

"Oopsie. I got you really drunk when I didn't remember that you have a worse endurance to alcohol than me." She laughs.

That is so funny. I laugh and laugh.

"Okay, baby. Let's go to the dance floor!" I take Clarke's hand and try to run to the dance floor.

The rest of the night is a blur for me. I remember the drag queens and some of the dancing but before I know it I'm in bed in the darkness.

"Thank you for the night. I can't remember nothing but I think I had a good time. I love you." I cuddled up with someone in bed and that someone is probably Clarke.

______

I wake up with the worst headache of my entire life. I'm in my hotel room but I can't see Clarke anywhere. I see the sun light coming from the window which makes my headache so much worse. I bury my face to a pillow. Where the hell is Clarke?

I hear the door slam. "Hey, babe." I hear a familiar, soft voice and lift my head from my pillow.

"Worst. Headache. Ever." I feel like a mess. What the hell happened last night? How did I get here?

Clarke giggles. "I though so. Wait 'til the stomachache kicks in." She hands me some croissants and coffee that she went to buy.

"They help with hangover. Helps to get all the toxins out of your body." She says and nods towards the croissants.

"Thank you, baby." I smile.

"Look. I'm sorry about last night. I didn't realise how exposed you were to alcohol." She goes all serious.

"It's okay. I had fun I think. I can't remember anything." I laugh.

"You told me that you loved me." She says quickly. There's a silence. I don't know what to say. Did I really say that? We've been together for what? A few days?

"And you know what? I don't know if you meant it. You were really drunk. So what ever. Forget I said anything. You don't have to tell me that-"

"I do love you." I interrupt her. Clarke goes all quiet. I don't regret anything. That's how I feel and there's no denying it.

"I... I don't know what to say. We've known each other for a few days and yes you are one of the most intriguing and beautiful people I've dated but I just- Eh. I don't know. I really like you but I'm just not.. We're not there yet." The moment these words leave Clarke's lips I bury my face in my hands. I'm so embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I'm gonna go on a walk. I have to clear my head. I'm sorry, Lexa." Clarke says and leaves.

Well. Fuck. I just said I love you to a person that doesn't love me back. Fuckk.
All of a sudden I see my phone ring. It's Costia. Oh great. I pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I say.
"Lexa? Is that you?" I hear Costia's familiar voice.
"Yes, it's me. Who else would it be?"
"Well last time your new girlfriend picked up."
"Clarke? When? She never told me." I'm confused.
"The day after we broke up. I told her to tell you!"
"That's strange. Maybe she forgat."
"Yeah sure... Anyway, how are you?"
"Not great. I just told Clarke that I loved her and she didn't say it back."
Again. A silence.
"Oh, I'm sorry." She's abashed.
"It's okay. I'll be fine. What were you calling about?"
"Nothing. I have to go." Cosia hangs up.
That was weird. I guess it's not great that a girl she broke up with like five days ago is already in love with someone else. Am I a terrible person?