Leaving Him - A Canem Story

CHAPTER 1 - Standing In Front Of His Door Again ...

"You can't even look at me," she whispered. "Okay ... It's all right ... I understand."

She had prepared a small speech but the words refused to leave her mouth. Her throat was dry. Tears were running down her cheeks. She was still standing up, next to the couch, numb and unable to breathe.

"Sorry I was wrong to come here tonight, I will go now ... I'm sorry for everything ..."

"That's it! You're sorry?" Can growled ...

"Yes Can, I'm sorry ...I just wanted to help the man I love. I wanted to feel useful for once ... and all these stares on my neck, blaming me for what had happened to you, to the agency ... You have no idea ..."

"Sanem ... Do you only understand what you have done to me? Your fragrance? Your parfume? Didn't you understand how special it is to me? I thought I had made it clear more than once ...", his voice was as cold as ice.

Sanem stopped dead. She was not crying anymore ... She was fuming!

"So that's all I am to you? A fragrance? For God's sake Can! Can you hear what you are saying?"

She clutched her fists, mad with anger.

She turned round and walked back towards the couch ... And she planted herself right in front him.

"So only the fragrance then? Hum Can? So you don't care about anything else, right?"

Can looked up for the first time and drilled his gaze into Sanem's eyes, dark with fury.

"Don't talk stupid Sanem ... You know what I mean ...," lowering his eyes back to the floor.

"No Can, I don't. Really I don't."

She stood up straight, almost regal; her chin defiant.

"So I suppose that this is meaningless to you then ... And you are not interested in any way ...", Sanem whispered in a provocative tone.

Sanem's dress was now lying on the floor ... Can's eyes widened and he looked up at Sanem, who was presently half naked, with her hands on her hips, still pissed off at him.

"So all this ...," as she gestured at her own body, " is not important to you!"

"Sanem! What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"

In a second, Can was on his feet, Sanem's dress in his hand, trying to cover up her naked chest.

His eyes met hers and he was lost once again in Sanem's brown gaze ... She saw him swallowing hard. His breathing seemed affected too. "Time to act",  she thought. "Be brave. Take what you want Sanem ... Do it now!"

Then Sanem placed her hands on both sides of Can's neck, going up and down very slowly. Can closed his eyes under the sensual massage and dropped her dress. Without realising, his hands touched Sanem's skin and both felt the shiver of passion that went through their bodies and minds.

Just a fragrance, hey Can Divit? Emboldened by her first move, Sanem took Can's hand and led him to the bedroom. She pushed him on the bed and went to close the door. Next she sat on his lap and started to unzip the sweatshirt he was wearing.

Can's mind must have gone completely numb as he was sitting there docile and quiet. He was completely at her mercy.

The sweatshirt was gone and Sanem resumed her massage, from the neck down to his abdomen. How she had longed to touch those rippling muscles, to circle the tattoo with her fingers, to plunge her nails into his warm skin ...

The pain awakened Can from his daze and he hugged closely Sanem's body against his, chest against chest, breath against breath, lips against lips ...

There was no holding back ... It was like a river breaking loose from a dam, torrents of lava flowing out of a volcano ... Sheer passion and days of frustration ...

Everything and everyone were gone ... Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing existed outside of this bedroom. No agency, no mother, no heartache ... Nothing else mattered.

They were kissing like they never did before ... no restraint, no limitation, no inhibition ... Can's experience kicked in and he took the lead. He undressed Sanem first and removed his clothes next. Both gloriously naked but silent. Eyes were talking, lips were talking, bodies were talking. The only sounds were those of lovemaking. Not once did they speak. Words were not necessary ... They both knew the damage they could do. In this magical moment of unison, the only language needed was that of love.

Sanem didn't know that physical love could be so rewarding and divine. Can caressing and kissing her naked skin was like touching her very soul. She felt no embarrassment and she returned every kiss, every touch, every move with the same fervour. They were finally one.

They made love several times that night, unable to quench the thirst they had for each other. Their bodies were tangled together, unable to let go, breathless, panting, moaning ... In moments of respite, their eyes were still making love. Finally, after many passionate hours, sleep caught them in its arms. As she was closing her eyes, she heard Can whisper "Sanem" behind her ear.

Unfortunately morning came, along with reality and bitterness. Sanem woke up, turned to face Can and watched him asleep ... He looked so young, so serene, so peaceful ... She knew the spell would break as soon as he would open his eyes. So, as quietly as possible, she placed a tender kiss on his cheek, brushed lightly his hair and inhaled his intoxicating scent. How could she live without him? She sighed, fighting the tears welling up and got dressed.

She opened the door, turned around for a final glance at the first and last man that she would ever love, and exited the bedroom.

Once in the street, she took her phone out and dialled Metin's number.

"Metin, sorry to call you that early but I have a favour to ask from you ..."