My Blood- stay with me

Chapter 8

IMPORTANT A/N: There is description of self harm and a suicide attempt started at the ⚠️ and ending at the next ⚠️ if you want to skip that scene. Also a lot happens in this chapter so get ready

Flashback
-

We were walking to my therapy appointment. My dad had signed me up to go every saturday after my mom died and expected me to go, even though he's the one that really needs therapy. He also didn't sign Zack up which i thought was a little odd but i never questioned it

“hey tyguy, remember that halloween party?”

“yeah, what about it?”

“its tonight dude! After i pick you up from this appointment, we are totally going”

“fine”

He laughed, “what?! Ty-guy is going along with my plan without arguing about it? That's new”

“ha yeah”

We arrived at the office and Zack left as i went inside and headed to my least favorite place.

Inside i sat on a couch facing this therapist who always started off by asking me to tell her about my week, which i always told her about what Zack and I did. This week was different though, when i finished he was silent for a second before sighing heavily and rolling his eyes,

“Listen Tyler, ever session you tell me about Zack. And what i'm about to tell you is important, and i didnt want to but it seems like i have to now. Zack isn't real. You've never had a brother. Im sure if you look at family photos more closely you'll realize it.”

I didnt understand why everyone keeps telling me that Zack isn't real. Because he is.

“that's bullshit!”

“Tyler im trying to help..”

“No, just because you haven't met Zack doesn't mean he isn't real!”

I stormed out and waiting on the bench outside till Zack got there.

“hey bud, you're out early.”

“Yeah well that guy makes me mad. Everyone keeps telling me you're not real and it's pissing me off”

“well look on the bright side. PARTY TIME!!

As we arrived at home we hung out for a little bit before Zack handed me a skeleton morphsuit.

“Here. Now no-one will know that its us.”

Timeskip

When we arrived i put the mask on and headed inside. There was a band playing in the living room, who were actually really good. Of course the football players were just zombie versions of themselves and everyone else was something generic like a witch or ghost.

I have always hated hated crowds so i stood towards the back of the crowd as Zack made his way towards the front and started dancing wildly to the music. I stayed where i was as i looked around at all the jocks and popular kids who had no idea that two uncool kids were here. If they knew i would've been beaten up by now.

Zack kept dancing along to every song that played, getting crazier with every song until it was an hour later and most people were too drunk or high to even know what was going on anymore.

I was even more uncomfortable than i was when we arrived so i was really glad when Zack walked up to me and suggested that we get going. He took off his mask as we walked out. I guess some people saw us because as we walked back up to our house Zack was pushed down by the jocks who started beating him up. I remembered that the baseball bat was still right inside the door so i ran in, grabbed and then ran back out to start swinging.

They ran away as i picked up Zack to help him inside but as i walked in i saw our family photos in the entrance and realized that the therapist was right. All the photos had my mom and dad and me.

Maybe….maybe Jenna was right. It was just me all along?

I sat down on the couch as i thought about all of our time together. All the times he tucked me in, helped me with homework, or defended me from bullies. It was all me.

No. Zack has to be real right?

I got off the couch and went to our room

I walked in to talk to him, but he wasn't there. I started to panic a little but mostly i just felt depressed and hopeless. I had pushed Jenna and everyone away from me because of Zack.

Ty💀: Jenna, im sorry. Zack isn't real, i know that now
read 8:30pm

Ty💀: jenna i know u see this and im so sorry
read 8:33pm

Ty💀: jenna plz
read 8:35pm

Ty💀: jenna
read 8:40pm

My cheeks started getting wet with tears. I tried to apologize, i tried to get Zack to stay with me, and i tried to get my dad to stop drinking. And they all left me.

Everything was going wrong and now i was more alone than ever.

Ty💀: sorry. I won't bother you anymore. I won't bother anyone anymore
read 9:00pm

I went upstairs past my dad's room where he was passed out drunk as usual. I headed to the bathroom and locked myself in while running a bath when i got a text

Jenna🎀: wait what? Tyler dont do anything stupid

Ty💀: just promise me this. If i lose to myself, you won't mourn a day and you'll move on to someone else

⚠️
I turned my phone off and got in the bath with my clothes on because, you know fuck it. I separated the metal razor from my shaving razor and slowly started to slice into both my arms. Once my forearms were covered in deep cuts i moved up to my shoulders and didn't stop till the bathtub and myself were covered in blood and i started to feel dizzy.

I layed back and just sobbed loudly as i felt myself bleeding out. I had no reason to live anymore.

I guess i wasn't fast enough and jenna was worried enough because right before i passed out the door was busted down by firefighters and paramedics who immediately dragged me out of the bath as i tried to fight them.

“No!! Let me go!!! Let me die!!! Let me….please. no...please”

They placed me on the ground and started wrapping and putting pressure on my arms. Then everything went black.

⚠

Later i was informed that i was being sent to Dema institute for my own safety. That's when i really gave up. I stopped talking because i had no reason to explain my life to anyone else and i never felt happy anymore. I just felt numb and lonely. Even when Brendon talked to me i never felt even a little bit okay until Josh came along and saved me from Dema.

End Flashback
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Right when we arrived at Trench i was escorted to my room which was already brighter and more colorful than my room back at dema. The first thing that Josh gave me was a notebook with a pen.

“Here Tyler i know that you weren't allowed to have paper at Dema but i believe you are capable of having this privilege and it will be beneficial if you want to write down those songs that you make or just draw your emotions”

I reached towards the book and started crying because of how excited i was to finally be allowed to express myself. Back when i thought Zack was real i wrote songs and poems, mostly about Blurryface who Zack helped me get rid off. And now my dreams were plagued with nico and the bishops. These dreams started in Dema so i'm hoping Josh will save me in Trench.

Suicide hotline :1-800-273-8255
    
         Available 24 hours everyday

Self-harm hotline: 1-800-273-TALK

 Stay Alive ||-//