Love Buzz -Kurt Cobain

10

THE DINNER HAD gone tremendously. Charlie and Karen has discussed a plan to set her path straight, and Emma had decided if she could do this right. She was past ready to move on.

Emma had taken off her small heels that hurt her feet as she never wore heels when she walked up stairs. She was happy. Genuinely.
Not just for the sake of her peers, but just herself.

Danny drove back to his new apartment after the dinner was through and all was well.

As she opened her room door every ounce of happiness faded from her body.

Kurt sat in her desk chair with a pink velvet hook in his hands. That wasn't just any book. It was a diary.

Emilieas diary.

Emma speedily walked in and snatched the book from his hands. "What the fuck are you doing!" She yelled. Kurt just smiled. "And why are you smiling!" She said.

Emmas eyes widened. Oh god. Emma whispered. Kurt had read her diary. Meaning he read all the things she wrote about him.

She felt nauseous, like the room was spinning and she's was in the mix of it all.

She wrote about how much she disliked Tracy, when she had first met Kurt, and she wrote down 100 times in her diary I do not like Kurt Cobain.

Before Kurt could make fun of her or anything Emma opened her window and climbed to her roof to sit. In silence. With her head telling her she had screwed up and ruined her friendship, and her heart telling her to go back in.

"Mind if I'm out here?" Kurt said sticking his head out the window. She told herself no but let out a yes.

"Well I'm still coming." He let out a muffled laugh before climbing through and sitting by Emma. "How are you feeling." He asked awkwardly.

"Dead." She said honestly.

Silence had grew to be comfortable between the two over the course of their friendship. They admired each other without knowing so in silence. Yet now, in these moments, it was more awkward than their meet.

"We're going to have to talk about it eventually." Kurt said looking out at the lamppost on her dimly lit street.

"We don't have anything to talk about." Emma responded looking at his shifting eyes that didn't meet hers.

Kurt huffed. He thought it was a bigger deal than Emma had let it off to be. "Well do you really think what you wrote?" Kurt said turning to face her.

Emma climbed back into her room. "Really because I don't recall writing anything about you." Emma said grabbing her diary.

Kurt had followed her into her room. "Really I guess I'll just remind you." He said snatching her diary from her own grasp. Her eyes widened as he held the diary over her and she couldn't reach it.

"You dick! Give it back that's private!" Emma jumped up to grab it. Kurt used his other arm to hold Emma from her waist so she couldn't run away.

"Dear Diary, today I went to a gig with my brother. " Kurt-read aloud.

"Kurt stop it right now!" She yelled.

"He introduced me to his friends in the band. All of them were really nice but there was this one guy that was really confusing." He smirked at her. Emma had given up on squirming away by now and just  got out and laid on her bed with a pillow over her head.

"He was kinda cute but also he seemed a bit sand offish." Kurt said raising his eyebrow. Someone please kill me now. Emma said. The lyrics to help by the Beatles had played back in her head in this moment. Please, Please help me.

"Also he was a bit of a dick and hogged all of the Kraft mac and cheese!" Kurt said loudly before breaking out in laughter.

"Are you done yet you asshole." Emma said as her voice was muffled from the pillow.

"But essentially he was there for me when I needed help. But it's not like I like him." Kurt's voice softened. "I mean it wouldn't matter if I liked him, he has a girlfriend who kind of hates me. Not that I care. We're just friends." He finished reading the page. He flipped the page as he ran his fingers along the words I do not like Kurt Donald Cobain. That she had repeatedly wrote on that page.

Kurt set her book down and moved closer to her. "So you didn't mean any of that?" Kurt said sitting next to her moving the pillow from her face.

"I mean what I said about not liking you." She said harshly. She wasn't lying. She knew she didn't just like kurt. It was more than a word middle school aged girls use to describe crushes.

"Really." Kurt said squinting to see in her expression if she was telling the truth.

"So what if I was, it doesn't change anything." She said walking away from him.

He grabbed her hand so he could see her face. "Emiliea it changes everything." He said seriously. "If it's barely even true tell me, please." He said almost as if he was pleading.
"Then maybe I'll know I'm not the only one-" his phone buzzed cutting him off.

Tracy.

"When did you get a mobile phone?" Emma scoffed.

"She -she bought me one." Kurt mumbled. Tracy. This whole time he had been talking to who his girlfriend told him to steer clear of and didn't think of her once.

Emma modded. Before walked out he asked Emma a question. "The whole reason I came is because, uh- chad needs help." He said softly.

"He asked me, if you're in love with two people who do you choose." He said still in a quiet tone.

"Well I'm not the pro at love but, if you were really in love with the first person, you wouldn't think of the second one." She said playing with the hem of her skirt.

Kurt smiled. "That's what I thought." He said before making through the window. "Oh and em." He said before hoping down the roof.

"If you find a guy who is willing to blow his girlfriend off a day to spend time with you and said he'll wait for you in your room for almost two hours, what do you think that could mean?"

She couldn't be more confused. Yet she was no longer confused on one thing. Whether she likes it or not.

She felt something for Kurt Cobain.