Above All Shadows [Loki Timetravel fic - Completed]

17. Utgard

'That must have caused you a great deal of heartache. I ask again, why are you here? Why do you introduce yourself as Laufeyson?'

Loki smiled self-consciously, uncertain who was playing whom here and who was being played. It was one thing to profess his enmity towards his adoptive family to Baugi, it was another to come to Laufey with the same story.

'That is my name, is it not?' Loki said.

'I won't deny the resemblance.'

'That is most gracious of you... father.' Loki shook his head; obsequiousness wasn't the path to Laufey's heart. Actually, he wasn't certain Laufey possessed a heart, but assuming he did, Loki thought there were some emotions his birth father would relate to easier than others. 'In truth, I don't quite know why I'm here. I couldn't stay on Asgard after you exposed me. Thor's councillors turned on me, stripped me of my regency without a single solid scrap of evidence and threw me in the dungeons. Once I found a way out of my cell, Jotunheim seemed the only path forward.'

'You're after revenge for what the Asgardians did to you.'

Loki paused for a long moment before he nodded. 'I suppose so. My entire life I felt the odd one out among them and they preyed upon it. And at the first opportunity, they acted.'

'That opportunity arose by my hand. Are you not aggrieved by that?' Laufey clasped his hands together and rested his chin on top. 'Come now, be honest. You were trying hard to strike a bargain and I ruined it all for you.'

'I don't know. You tell me, should I be? You are my father and I your son. You chose to say what you did, surely aware of the danger you could place me in by your actions. So why did you do it? In fact, explain how it all happened in the first place! You called me well-beloved and from what I have heard, you held great affection for my mother, yet the Asgardians believed I had been abandoned when they found me.'

Loki had hoped to elicit at least a spark of an emotional response, but Laufey's face remained as hard and cold as the stone around them.

'You were abandoned, that's correct,' he said.

'Why? What fault did you find with me?'

'None,' Laufey replied sharply. 'You were perfect and that made the decision all the harder. Early in the pregnancy, the war was going well, but then we suffered several routs and before we knew it, we were on the brink of disaster. Jotunheim needed your mother's skills. A child would have drawn too much of her energy and time, so a sacrifice had to be made.'

Loki lowered his gaze and let his birth father's words wash over him. He had suspected something of this sort had happened, but it was difficult nonetheless to have confirmation that he had been discarded because he had become an inconvenience to his parents.

'Loki.' Laufey's words took on an odd undertone as he spoke. 'I am a king, it is the king's duty to put his people about himself. Even when it concerns his own kin.'

This is as close to an apology as I'll ever get.

'Did the sacrifice pay off?' Loki said tersely.

'No. Jotunheim was defeated, your mother killed in the last of the fighting and you went missing. We searched; there weren't many children born that year so you would have been hard to hide, but I never thought to look among the Asgardians. I presumed you were dead until Helblindi's men returned from Asgard with a strange tale.'

Loki chuckled. 'Yet upon realising that I still lived, the first thing you decided to do was to turn the Asgardians against me.'

'Whatever my personal feelings might be, my duty is to protect my people. I judged political infighting in Asgard would be in Jotunheim's favour. Your adoptive father would have done the same.'

'That's probably true,' Loki replied.

Laufey leaned back until his spine was flat against his high-backed chair and his expression turned thoughtful. 'I will concede, I pondered those words for some hours before I made my decision. There was undeniable political expediency in it, but in part, I also hoped to show you that your place is not on Asgard. Be mindful, I didn't prepare a coup against you, I merely said a few words and the Asgardians made their own choices from there.'

'But you expected there would be consequences for me after you said your piece.'

'Asgardians despise the Jotnar no less than we despise them. There was never a chance you would be live in peace among them once the truth about you became known. Even Odin understood that.'

Manipulative swine.

After he had killed Laufey, Loki had at times indulged himself in imagining how his life would have turned out had Laufey realised that the Asgardian prince with whom he plotted Odin's assassination was his own son. Now he was glad Laufey had exited his life quickly the first time around. Loki could see what Laufey was trying to do. A young man who believed everyone from his previous life had turned on him and that you were the sole reasonable, if somewhat harsh, benefactor could be made into a potent weapon. Were he still feeling as angry and betrayed as he had been when he first discovered he was not Odin's son by blood, he might well have found himself genuinely drawn to Laufey.

Thor had better thank me for this later.

Loki rubbed at his face with the back of his hand, then sighed. 'I don't think I can go back to Asgard.'

'Stay here then,' Laufey said. 'Your half-brother is leading the warrior clans, but his wife and his children remain in Utgard. They will look after you.'