Mine | Jaeyong

Chapter 33

'So you're marrying her?' 

Jaehyun nodded slowly. He didn't want to nod...

They were sitting at the dinner table, around 6 o'clock at night and still the problems were not solved. How could they ever be solved though... How?

'I thought you were gay.' Taeyong bit his lip. 'Have you been lying to me this whole time? Is this a joke?'

Jaehyun still couldn't raise his head, he was too ashamed. 'I haven't. I would never lie, why would I lie about... Embarrassing myself in front of people for you and constantly worrying? I don't know what I am, but I don't like her.'

Taeyong nearly stabbed the table with his knife and fork. How frustrating! That's how he felt. Frustrated. 'So our relationship is embarrassing for you? If you didn't like her then maybe you should just tell your parents already! I am a human too you know! I go through so much pain because of y-you!' He regretted sounding so harsh, Jaehyun couldn't deny that he wasn't hurt by these words. Maybe God wanted this to happen so he'd get punishment for causing this pain. He knew he brought pain onto Taeyong... he hated it, it only hurt when Taeyong admitted it and made it no longer a speculation.

'Don't position your knife and fork like that. If someone was to accidentally fall through the ceiling and land there then they would get stabbed and it would ruin your dinner.' Jaehyun said randomly, he seemed to dislike pointy and sharp things being positioned like that.

Then, of course, Taeyong rolled his eyes. Slamming the knife and fork flat onto the table. 'Did you just listen to anything I said, anything at all!?'

'Yes.'

'Then say something yo-you bastard...' 

'I am human too.' He repeated what Taeyong said. 'So that made an awful kick to my feelings. Therefore I won't argue back, because passing that to you would show I don't care.' He sounded wise...

Taeyong couldn't help but make a weep, he pursed his lips to a shut, just to contain the sobs. 'Why can't you just do something... Why can't I do something?' He told Jaehyun, but more in an unanswerable question that Jaehyun couldn't seem to come up with an explanation to.

Jaehyun shuffled in his seat, he had turned to the side. 'Humankind is just so cruel. Don't you think so?' He wanted to add more, his mind was swarming with words he wished to tell Taeyong but didn't. It was as though he was containing his calmness, this was surprising because he never did this. Ever. He leant on his arm that leant on the chair and seemed to be staring off out into the world outside of the only window which didn't have a blind on it. It was the only light force, which was why the room was dark but the eyes could just about adjust to it. The candle-lights were unlit: The room had gone cold and felt that way. 'It's almost as though, God has sucked the happiness from this house.' Jaehyun also randomly said. He was still speaking calmly, this left the other boy across the table in a confused quietness, but he was listening, instead of eating.

The both of them admittedly had lost their appetite awhile ago.

'I remember when we once had to clean these windows. Too much dust, bird shit and cobwebs had collected onto them. When Carlos fell ill, right? We had to clean them because he was gone, twelve weren't we? We were trusted to stay home alone.'

Taeyong began to get a little sentimental, flashbacks... how painful.

'You may not have known, but I remember feeling strange. That day, as corny as it sounds, was the day my feelings started, maybe yours did before mine but... It was then for me. How could you like me anyway, I had thought. You're a boy and I am too and I am the snobbiest asshole out there, I thought that also. So... I made myself straight, I let girls date me but it was the most uncomfortable thing I ever had to do, them trying to lean over for a kiss and I would have to make excuses like I had a contagious virus or I had to suddenly leave. And I would leave after, and I would run to the nearest bathroom, trying to pull myself together because I thought I was a wimp. I couldn't carry out my duty as a man to this society and be with a woman. I forced myself through it, I even made myself fear any gay person. Especially men, it was the fear, what if I accidentally let it slip near them? What if they could tell I was like them? What if... I ended up liking them. It's stupid really. You must hate me rambling on but I feel like I must tell you. Before you say this all does go wrong. You have to trust me Taeyong, I'll find a way.'

Taeyong couldn't hold back the sobbing after that.

It was sweet. 'You don't have to explain yourself...'

'No, I do.' Jaehyun then turned his head away from the window to the boy's eyes. 'Because then you will know it's only because I have to do what I have to do.' Taeyong realised Jaehyun had fitted that saying so well. Yes... his boyfriend suited it well. Calm waters run deep. Definition: Looking so calm and empty on the outside but there's an awful lot happening inside of the person's head... Even back then, he still was the same:

'JAEHYUN IT'S A WASP IT'S CHASING ME!' 

Taeyong began running around Jaehyun frantically, squealing like a pig. The wasp was chasing him because he accidentally swatted at it, thinking it was a hover-fly.

An expected eye-roll from Jaehyun as he grabbed the wasp from the air, causing Taeyong to turn in confusion thinking that Jaehyun was the bravest boy he had ever met. Jaehyun had put his nail down between the head and body of the wasp and beheaded it. It was a disgusting sight but Jaehyun seemed unfazed by it. 'Disgusting things, wasps.' Jaehyun said in a low voice.

'Woah how did you do that, that's so cool... wait that's gross... I don't want to know how to do that.' Taeyong was mumbling.

'The mumbling Taeyong, it's a pet peeve.'

'Sorry!' Taeyong quickly rushed back to the window and began stroking it with the damp cloth. Jae seemed to be looking at Taeyong too much, it made Taeyong feel weird as he could feel the eyes on him, it made his back sweat a little and made him feel like maybe he was doing something wrong so he began to clean the window more thoroughly.

'Hug me.' Jaehyun randomly said out of nowhere, the cloth Jaehyun was holding in his hands had gently fallen to the floor and so he waited. Taeyong slowly lowered his hand, that was a strange order from Jaehyun this time, he was starting to think Jaehyun hated him but now the boy wanted him to hug him. Taeyong scratched his head. 'A hug?' He made sure he wasn't hearing things wrong.

Jaehyun nodded. 'What're you? Deaf?'

The other 'deaf' boy quickly shook his head. 'I can perfectly hear! It's just the last time you told me to hug me... was... one-two-three...-seven-six...-ten...-twelve... A year ago... That was only because the boys in our class were picking on me...' Taeyong was mumbling.

He realised he was mumbling and expected to get told off by Jaehyun again but didn't. 'I'm waiting.' Jaehyun tapped his foot and was starting to get a little bit more impatient, he showed his impatience to Taeyong by giving him the side eye and tapping his foot more vigorously.

Taeyong quickly went to hug him then, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to give a proper hug but then Jaehyun had tightened his grip around Taeyong then and there, burying his face in the crook of Taeyong's neck making the receiver feel awkward. Taeyong hugged Jaehyun tightly in return and gulped, trying to not look like he was blushing or having butterflies in his tummy. He could feel Jaehyun's nose nuzzling him.

Jaehyun then realised what he was doing and quickly pushed Taeyong off of him. 'These windows won't clean themselves.' He reminded them both and cleared his throat in an overexaggerating way. Also, he made Taeyong do most of the window cleaning so he had no right to say that but he just wanted to forget he did that. I mean... Taeyong had no issue with doing window cleaning because he could talk to Jaehyun while doing this, even though Jaehyun usually responded in a grunt. Rarely any convocation. 

Until then, where Taeyong was talking how it looks so lovely outside.

'There are many lovely things outside today.' Jaehyun said while eyeing Taeyong. Was that a secret flirt?! Taeyong coughed awkwardly.