Backwards (In Progress)

1.

  First day of tenth grade. Everyone is standing in front of the school waiting for the doors to open. The first day of every year the school has an assembly first thing in the morning, leaving literally the entire school standing outside until they finish setting up the auditorium. "Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary?" Our principal is inside the building reciting the words to herself this very moment. Same speech every year. The only people don't know it by heart are the freshmen.

  I navigate through the crowd to find familiar faces. Everyone is technically 'familiar', but I have a select few people I actually like and tolerate. Jameston isn't a particularly small town, but everyone is somehow related to someone else through blood or marriage. Mostly marriage but if you ask, "oh that's my cousin."

  A short pixie cut bobs up and down a crowd of people excitedly waving me over. I grin and make my way over to her. Dani and I squeal as we hug each other breathlessly telling each other how much we missed each other over the summer. I don't visit people outside of school.

  "Who's your home room?" She asks, pulling out her schedule from her bag. I shrug, "I'm not sure really. Dax told me that I had Miller. I was at the beach during orientation."

  We continue to swap schedules amongst us and a few of our friends when my best friend walks behind me and nudges me in the ribs. "Josh is looking at you."

  I look up at Liz and back to where she nodded to. She was right. He was standing in between two pillers making his way towards us. Crap. I'm not even excited to see him.

  Josh. My boyfriend. We've been together for at least seven months. He officially asked me out two days before Valentine's day. I liked him and he was cute. He had a confidence about him then that I thought was impressive. But it turns out after I agreed to be in a relationship with him he lost most of that confidence.

  He barely texted me through out the whole summer and honestly, he doesn't have much personality to keep a good conversation going. I really don't understand how we lasted this long. We've never fought or anything but isn't that the point of a relationship? To argue and get over it?

  "May." Josh says giving me a goofy smile while delivering an awkward side hug. I offer a half smile and pat his back during the stiff exchange. "Josh." He lights up as I say his name. I feel bummed.

  "Okay! Get moving! Get moving! Pick a door and walk through it!" The whole parking lot turns their heads to see what direction the demand came from. Principal Stort was yelling through her megaphone trying to unsuccessfully heard the sea of people into the auditorium. The assembly has begun.
            

                                ..............

  As the first day comes to a close I work my way back to the cafeteria. All bus riders wait there for the buses to make their rounds to the other schools before finally picking up the highschool students. It's never terribly crowded like lunch is. Not too many people have to ride the bus.

  Josh catches onto my backpack as I'm walking through the doors. I turn to look at him and he's already grinning at me. I return his smile half heartdly.  I hate being pulled on but I'll let it pass because it's been months since he's done it. Months since he seen me last. We pick a table that some of our mutual friends friends are already sitting at.

  I plop down and Josh get on the left side of me and wraps his arms around my waste and begins talking to his friend around my shoulder. I don't engage in conversation, I'm too focused on looking at all the freshmen. A moment later two boys run over to our table and start talking to the same boy Josh was talking to.

  "Nick I got stuck with coach fox for third period." The first boy says. I've never seen him before. Freshman, I decide. I look over and discover the second boy staring at me. His eyes are wide and he gives me a huge grin as we make eye contact. I don't return his smile. I just look at him trying to remember where I've seen him before. He seems vaguely familiar.

  "Me and Josh got him last year. He absolutely hated my guts, bro. I super glued his desk shut. He couldn't suspend me because he couldn't prove I did it. Remember, Josh?" Nick laughs, looking over to Josh for confirmation. He chuckles beside me, tickling my ear. The boy seem to have just realised Josh was there. He glanced down at his arms wrapped around my waist and noticably frowns.

  I raise my eye brow at him questioningly. What's the problem? He takes in my facial expression and he smiles at me again. A genuine smile. It was actually kind of nice.

  "I love you." Josh says loudly, breaking mine and the boys gaze. I blink at him, "love you too?" He is glaring at the boy across the table. I didn't realize that I wasn't the only one who noticed his unshakeable stare. He glanced at Josh and frowns again. "You ready?" His friend asks him. He looks away from Josh and nods his head, "yeah I'm good." With one last look at me they walk away from the table.

  Josh nuzzles his head into my shoulder affectionately. I feel like a fire hydrant that's getting marked by a dog. I'm his territory. I don't think Josh's short, lanky,  skinny appearance had any effect on the kid who was nearly six foot with shoulders as broad as an ox.

  Somewhere someone blows the whistle to leave the lunch room. Josh unlatches from my waist and stands up the same time I do. He grabs ahold of my hand and leads me through the crowd and out the door.