I Hated Her || JenLisa

Holding On

She furrows her brows, then glances downward to see Jisoo and Chaeng waving at her. 

"Why didn't you use the door?" She helps me up, a small tired smile painted her lips.

Shrugging, "It's not fun."

She turns on the lights, while I watch her; missing every little thing about her. 

"That's good because Dad is here," she drops the bomb on me and I wanted to just go back and climb down knowing that the monster was inside the house. 

She notices my anxiety. Sighing, she steps toward me and there was that single flicker of me that expected her to just slap me.

But she didn't, instead she caress my cheek. 

"I'm sorry Lisa, I've done you wrong all this time. I don't know how to make up for it," I felt her hand trembling, she pulls away and hides it. 

I lean on the wall, scrutinizing my woman who was now thinner, restless and unhappy.

The gleam was there but clouded.

Had I done this?

It made me feel awful because I made her into a person who was just like me.

Like there was something missing.

"It's okay, we'll make this work," I gave her an encouraging smile as I rub circles on her arm, letting her feel at ease. 

This is all I ever wanted, just to see her. 

I don't need anything else in this world.

"I have to apologize for my words before, I didn't know what got to me," guilty for hinting she was a slut. Of all people to tell her that, the poison came from my own mouth. 

Her forehead rests on my chest, my heartbeat fastens at the intimacy. 

"Dony and I were never a thing, Lisa. I was just using him," she raises her head to meet my eyes.

Those brown orbs held me like a lifeline. Pools that drowned me into a never ending chase.

"My eyes were only on you. It was just easy to fool my parents if Dony was around," she reasoned out but I didn't care anymore.

I was simply enthralled.

So I nodded.

But the next thing that came out of her mouth slapped me from my dilemma.

"I hope you can understand that the only way we can keep our relationship is that we have to keep it a secret," she fidgets the last part afraid to be scolded, "for now."

Oh.

"So does that mean you have to act like you're still with Dony?" My jaws tightened, unhappy with our circumstance.

Why can't her own father just accept it?

Why can't she be brave?

"Yes," she coughs out.

I try my best to not let it show but I didn't like it. Heck, I hated it.

"Lisa?" She cautiously calls.

Scrunching my nose, "The dude likes you Jen."

"I won't let him touch me any more than just to hold my hand," she persuades.

"D-did he kiss you?" I was afraid she'd say yes.

"No, I never let him. It was always on the cheek," she examines my little reactions.