innocent ♡ fem!larry

chapter 2

no. no, no, no, no. this can't be happening. not fucking again. harry sighs. she can't become attached again, not when flirting always leads to disappointment.

sure, louis seems different, but harry has no idea if louis is actually different. she doesn't know if louis will stick around or if louis is being sincere when they flirt or if it's all meaningless to her. harry means every word when they flirt, though she'd never admit that to the girl she's slowly becoming infatuated with.

harry sighs again and flops down onto her bed. she knows without a doubt she needs advice, but that would mean confessing her feelings and she's uncertain if she's ready to admit that yet. she literally just met louis a week ago. yet the brunette seems to be working her way into harry's heart, though harry isn't truly aware of it yet.

i'll just make myself have no feelings towards her. no feelings, no attachment. simple, right? yeah. yeah. it's easy.

how exactly do i get rid of these feelings, though?

harry tries to think to her previous crushes to use that as a guide, but they didn't have the same effect on her that louis does. they didn't cause harry to become automatically attached as soon as she laid eyes on them. it had taken time; it was an extremely slow process with each and every one of them. they didn't make harry as nervous or make her pulse quicken as fast it does. they didn't cause harry to stutter. they never made her palms feel clammy. they weren't louis.

realizing this, harry bites her lip and stupidly, an idea pops into her head. she can google it.

with a foolish smile on her face, she types "how to get rid of feelings" in the search bar. the first result states "if you have romantic feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same..." and harry stops reading it because in all honesty, she doesn't know how louis feels.

louis most likely doesn't like harry, but harry doesn't know for sure. and by now, she's learned to not assume things, so harry scrolls down to see the next thing.

"because feelings can be so overwhelming, we often have the misconception that the best way to deal with them..."

hmmm... this seems interesting, harry thinks as she clicks on the website.

"our feelings confuse us..."

yes, they most certainly do, harry agrees to herself.

"because feelings can be so overwhelming, we often have the misconception that the best way to deal with them is to get rid of them...the one who shuns love becomes tormented by what is missing. simply put, we become preoccupied with the very feelings we are trying to avoid..."

"huh. so i shouldn't try to get rid of my feelings?" harry thinks aloud, then laughs. "it's going to take more than one website to convince me otherwise. feelings haven't helped me in the least bit so far."

she clicks out of the website and hopes she'll find something actually useful this time.

"it's not hard for most of us to get rid of unwanted thoughts & feelings...as long as they're relatively..."

"feelings don't just 'go away' if you ignore them--they come out in other, usually destructive ways..."

harry scrolls and scrolls until she comes across an article about getting rid of feelings for a crush.