Everyone comes with scars (but you can love them away) (camren)

Chapter 18

Lauren sighs lightly as she stares at a sleeping Camila from her place sat cross legged on the end of her bed, her head going wild over all the possibilities that could have caused one of the worst breakdowns she had ever witnessed.

At first, she thought it was Dinah who had caused it.

After all she knows the relationship Camila had with the Dom was kind of on and off, but after giving her a quick call and learning the girl was completely fine the entire afternoon, she had quickly dismissed the idea.

Next she thought maybe someone else had upset her. But after finding out she'd had no contact with anyone else today apart from Dinah and herself, that idea too went down the drain.

Dropping her head heavily in her hands she finds herself letting out her another sigh of frustration. What in the world had upset her? Camila was little the whole morning, then came out of her headspace to go shopping with Dinah. What could have happened in the one hour period she was gone? What could have...wait.

How long had Camila been in the house whilst she was on the phone to Normani? Did she overhear something she shouldn't have? Did she eavesdrop? Something she had scolded her over countless times before?

Bringing her head up, she comes face to face with an ashamed, yet still upset looking Camila. She was looking down at her lap, a resting place for her hands that despite being clamped together were still trembling.

At first, she wanted to be mad at her for going against her rules and defying her. She wanted to stick her into the corner and give her one of the longest time outs she's ever been given, but when she realises how much rejection the young girl must be feeling right now over the words she had overheard, she reluctantly lets go of the madness she herself was feeling and instead holds out her arms.

"C'mere baby" she murmurs encouragingly, only catching a glimpse of the tears that fill the younger girls eyes before she was pulling her for the second time today, onto her lap.

"I'm sorry" Camila whimpers, her hands tightly fisting the back of the Dom's shirt.

Lauren tightens her grip around her small frame, "shhh, just take some deep breathes and calm down" she ignores the apology knowing that was a conversation they were going to have to have later.

Once things were calm.

The small girl nods in understanding and closes her eyes in an attempt to get the sobs that were so desperate to escape to go away. Maybe Lauren would still want to look after her despite being unsure about her feelings. Maybe she wouldn't kick her out. Make her go back to her life before that was filled with day after day of the same old thing.

Desperate for reassurance, she pushes herself away from the woman and looks at her pleadingly. It was a sight that had Lauren questioning whether or not her assumptions had been correct.

"What is it?" She questions in a whisper, brushing a wet strand of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear out of the way.

A tear falls, "you still want...you still want to look after me?" A shy whisper. It was almost like she was expected to be automatically rejected.

Lauren frowns, and although she sure she knew the reason behind the question, she still asks, just to be sure, "what do you mean love?" She instinctively runs her hand up and down the girls back.

Camila hesitates. She knew if she told, she'd be punished. But she knew if she didn't tell, she'd be left feeling unsure. A feeling she really didn't like.

"I heard your conversation...with your friend" she starts, avoiding eye contact, "I heard you tell her that you didn't know how you felt about me. And I was wondering despite that if you still want to look after me" she quickly spits out the words, knowing if she held off any longer she'd most likely chicken out whilst simultaneously pretending they had never had this conversation.

At the confirmation that actually, she had been correct in assuming Camila had eavesdropped, the anger Lauren once felt returns. She holds it back for the time being though, not wanting to punish the younger when she was still so upset.

"First of all, you know eavesdropping is extremely rude right?" She starts, her voice both stern and soft.

Camila nods, her eyes wide with fear.

"It's rude because just like what happened, you'll overhear something that'll inevitably upset you. I didn't intent for you to hear those words just yet. I wanted to sit you down and explain my feelings to you properly, but now, I can no longer do that"

Another tear falls down the girls already wet cheek.

"Just because I'm unsure on how I feel about you doesn't mean I want to stop what we have going on. I like what we have Camila. I like having you around, looking after you..." Lauren starts, holding her finger to the girls lips when she attempts to cut her off, "...and I know it's going to be a bit of a mind fuck to put it blankly, but I didn't say it's never going to happen. I just need...time. Time to figure out how I feel and time to see if we'll ever work out as a couple. Somethings happening between us, I know that, but as of right now taking what we have slowly is the best option because if things don't work out between us dating wise, I don't want to lose what we've built together. Do you understand?"

So complete rejection wasn't being thrown her way.

"Yes" she whispers.

"Everything is going to stay the same." Lauren continues, "Nothing is going to change so for you to assume I'm just going to dump you like you mean nothing really hurts my feelings."

The small girls bottom lip begins to quiver.

"We don't have to put a label on what we have sweetheart" Lauren softens her voice ever so slightly not quite ready for another round of tears, "we'll just take it day by day and see what happens, okay?"

"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry" Camila was quick to whisper, bringing a trembly had up to wipe off her cheeks.

Lauren smiles, "you'll be forgiven just as soon as you've spent some time in the corner to think about everything I've just explained to you" she eases Camila to her feet before standing herself.

Although spending time in the corner was about the worst thing the woman could have suggested, Camila nods in understanding knowing she was walking on a thin line, "how long?"

Lauren considers her options for a second before speaking, "just ten minutes. I think you've punished yourself enough already huh?" She leans down to press a kiss to the young girls head before giving her bottom an encouraging pat towards the free corner of her room.

Camila smiles tearfully as she nods and wonders over to the corner, hoping that this ten minutes would pass quickly so she could go and cuddle with her mama.

**

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