envy

18

*Three Months Later*

I sat up in bed, running my hands through my hair. I looked over and see Finn laying on his stomach, hands under his pillow. I lean over, kissing his shoulder before slipping out of bed. I slip on my slippers and walk downstairs to the kitchen. I turn on the light, walking over to the sink.

Knowing Roman had leukemia again has hit a bad spot in me. I have not been the same since and my momentum has just went down. I grab a glass and pour some wine into it. I look over at the time and see its three in the morning. Perfect time for wine, right?

I sat on the counter, sighing softly. RAW was pre recorded for christmas eve and christmas day which was good. All I have to worry about is not being hung over before the live events. I took a sip from the wine and looked towards the door way. A sleepy, confused Finn showed up rubbing his eyes. "What are you doing out of bed?" he says, standing inbetween my legs.

I shake my head, finishing the glass of wine. "Go back to sleep, I'll be there soon," I tell him, kissing his forehead. "No, Tessa. You have shut me out for three months now and drinking the pain away won't help," he says, grabbing the wine glass and bottle away from me.

"You can't tell me what to do. Just let me have one more and I'll go to sleep," I say, trying to reach for the glass. Finn scoffs and pours the wine down the drain. "Finn!" I scream out, going over to him and pushing him to the side. I grabbed the bottle, chugging whatever was left of the wine. "You have a problem, Tess. You drink all night and sleep till we have to show up to work! What happens if Vince or Hunter or even Mark knows about this!? You would be out of a job," Finn says, trying to reason with me.

I drop the bottle on the floor, wincing a bit at the sound. Finn sighs deeply, walking towards the brook closet. I bite my lower lip, tears starting to roll down my eyes. Finn brooms away the broken glass before looking at me. "I'm tired, Tessa. I don't know what else to do. You have not spoken to anyone, I get it, but I can't keep living with a stranger," Finn says, walking towards me.

I shake my head a bit, backing up. "I don't want to talk. I just want Roman to come back," I say, putting my hands in my face. Finn grabs my hands softly, kissing my knuckles softly. "He will come back, I promise. He just needs some time to get better. Can we please go back to bed? We leave in three hours and I know you have not slept in a while," he says, picking up my head.

"No, you can go. Just let me sit down and let you sleep," I say, wiping my eyes. Finn sighs softly before kissing my forehead and walking away. I walked towards the stairs and waited till I heard the door close. I cleaned the floor, throwing out the glass. I turned off the kitchen lights and walked over to the couch. I laid down and closes my eyes, taking a deep breathe.

***
"Good luck tonight, I'll see you later," Finn says to me before walking away to his locker room. I walked off to the women's locker room, groaning a bit. I looked around and noticed no one inside. I set my stuff down and walked to the bathroom. My reflection in the mirror was horrible. My hair was all over the place and I looked like I hadn't slept.

I looked down and splashed water on my face repeatedly. I walked back to my area and changed into my gear. I grabbed my title and walked out to get my hair and makeup done.

"Tess, Hunter wants to see you in his office," I hear Mark tell me. I look at him and nod, heading my way into the office. Great, anytime I'm going to his office it usually isn't good news. I walked up to the door and took a deep breathe. I knock on the door and walk in. I see Finn, Hunter, Seth, and Dean inside. My eyes fell on Finn's but he quickly turned his head. "What's going on?" I say, closing the door behind me and sitting down on the couch.

"We are concerned, Tess," Hunter says. "Concerned? What are you concerned about!?" I say, raising my voice a bit. "You haven't been yourself since Roman left and you are shutting everyone out," Dean blurts out, turning towards me. "You always have come drunk to atleast three live events in under two weeks. This is no behavior of a champion. What would Roman think?" Hunter asks me, leaning onto the table infront of him. I turnn towards Finn and stare at him. "Are you not gonna say anything?" I ask him, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles to himself. "Tess, give me your title," Hunter says, getting up. "What!? No!" I exclaim, jumping up from my seat. "Excuse me? I said give me your title!" Hunter screams out, extending out his hand. At this point, I felt betrayed and hurt. Not only from Seth and Dean, but from Finn. He couldn't even look me in the eyes. I handed my belt over to Hunter, looking at Finn. "It's only till we know you are getting better," Hunter says, taking the belt. "Don't bother, just keep it," I mumble, walking out and slamming the door behind me.

I walk back to my locker room, sitting down where my stuff was at. At this point, all the girls were there. I start packing my stuff into my luggage and walk out. "Tessa! Wait!" I hear Finn call out after me. I scoff and keep walking, feeling my eyes start watering. I felt a hand grab my arm and turn me around. "Where are you going?" Finn says, looking at my bags. "I'm going home. Don't bother coming home either. Instead of helping, you went to Hunter and now there is literally no need for me to be here!" I raise my voice, snatching my hand away.

"Tess, you need help. Why was it a bad thing I reached out for help!?" he says inbetween gritted teeth. "Because I'm fine!" I scream out before walking away from him. My chest felt tight and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry.

Why can't anyone understand that I'm fine?