Jamie (boyxboy)

1 - goodbye

"Of course. However, eventually I will need an answer, Jaime," Her eyes soften a little as I stand up.

When I grab the doorknob, the elderly lady speaks, "Don't forget," Her glasses slide down her long and thin nose, "There will always be a place for you here, alright?"

These words and her smile make my shoulders relax.

"Thank you," I smile back, a tight but honest smile.

My throat squeezes as I leave the dusty office. I sit on the couch and watched Adventure Time with Jack and Sunny. However, I'm not paying attention to it.

Thoughts of family crowd my head. Should I even be thinking about it? I'm a foster kid. Shouldn't I want a home?

• • •

After contemplating for three days, I decide to accept their offer. I'm lucky to even have a choice, most foster kids are stuck wherever they can get. It feels wrong to say no to them.

I spend the whole day with my family. I am worried about the younger ones and how they are going to deal with it. I make sure to even read the twins an extra bedtime story.

At dinner everyone acted too normal. As if me leaving wasn't even happening. Sunny made jokes, Alex and Ginni argue, while Naomi keeps the peace. Travis doesn't show for dinner.

Everything is as it normally is. Every single day it's a cycle. Maybe I need a change. If I don't want to stay there I can always come back.

I throw myself on my bed and bite my lip. My chestnut waves cover my face beneath a pillow, while I nervously stay awake. A few hours later Jaycee sneaks into my room and sleeps beside me. I pretend not to notice her tears while she snuggles deeper into the comforter.

This is my family. Will anything meet the standards of this?

Sleep overcomes me, but it's dreamless and empty. In the morning I am going to hate myself for staying awake so late. Tomorrow, I will finally know what it's like to be more than Jaime, the foster kid.

• • •

My room has always been anything but special. Stacks of notebooks I never used, band posters of groups I had grown away from, video games, and miscellaneous things. It is easy to pack everything up. Even better: everything fit into two boxes and a suitcase. I even get rid of some things too.

Glancing around the room it looks bland. With the beige walls stripped and the wooden floor cleared. It is practically foreign to me.

Do I really want to leave? Second thoughts fill my mind as if a volcano had erupted somewhere deep in my thoughts.

This is insane! I know nothing about these people. So why am I packing up so quickly? My head hurts already from the questions. I can only imagine what it will be like when I finally get to their house. I don't even know if they live nearby.

Trudging down the stairs, I can smell the mixed aromas of the separate breakfasts in the dining room. The home is often loud and filled to the brim with noise. But now, it is dead silent.

"Everyone," Calls the headmistress from the front door, "Jamie is leaving in a few minutes, it is best to say goodbye now."

She turns to me, eyes looking tired but also relieved to see one of us make it out of here. I couldn't pin her expression but I know she is just happy for me.