Save me

chapter eighteen

Ayden Grant

To whom it may concern, I am leaving this note with my last words.

I hate myself. I hate being alive. I have kept this in as I am too coward to seek help. Which has lead me to this.

My life has no meaning at this point in time. I fuck up everything and please excuse my language this time but I am a fuck up. I able to do nothing right. Everything I do I mess up some how. I used to believe that everything happened for a reason. I used to believe in life.

There is no point in me living any longer. I am a waste of oxygen. I have no purpose on this earth. The pain has become too much to bare. I am not strong enough to conceal my wounds any longer. Which is why I am doing this.

This was never your fault, to whoever is reading this. This is my choice. My decision. My fault. I don't blame anyone else but myself for the way I am and what this has come too. Do not blame yourselves for my actions.

Ryan, I love you. You are the best brother I've ever had. Please be strong. Do not be like me. I wish you the best. You will do amazing things with your life. You will be somebody.

Mr. and Mrs. Reese, you have given me more than I could ever ask for. You have blessed me and my brother with a home, food, clothes and so much more. But most importantly you've given me love. The parental love that every person needs. The unbreakable, everlasting bond between two human beings. You have treated me as if I was one of your own. For that I can not thank you enough.

Cameron, you have seen me at my worst. More than enough times. You didn't leave me or laugh at me. Instead, you were there for me. You comforted me when no one else would. We laughed together, loved, and lived. I can honestly say that you've changed my life. When I'm with you my problems temporarily go away.

But that's the issue. Temporary isn't enough. I need more than that. I don't want to be suffering in pain any longer. Please forgive my actions of taking my own life.  I wish you all the best. With best regards, Ayden Grant.

I signed my name at the bottom of my paper. This was it. These were going to be my last words. The last words that anyone would hear of me. I walked into my room and laid the paper on Cameron's bed. I wanted him to be the first to read my suicide note.

I walked outside for about 10 minutes until I reached the bus stop. The wait wasn't long before the city bus pulled in. A few people got off, as I got on. I walked to the back of the back of the bus and sat in the last row of the seats. The bus soon reached its next stop.

The Golden Gate Bridge

I walked down the walkway to the bridge. People were passing by not giving a second glance towards me. They didn't know what I was about to do. No one did.

No one cares.

I ran forward using both of my hands I launched myself off the railing. My last thought:

I don't wanna die.