Stay With Me (Come Back to Me #2)

Chapter 39

"Yeah, but you still said it, Soph." The words come out a little snottier than I intended, but I don't care. She still called him weird. "We're all weird – I still bite my nails when I'm nervous, Dad is still scared of hospitals, you snore when you sleep, and – "

"Those are all normal things," Jacey points out.

"Exactly my point," I reply. "Justin is a normal person with one weird thing happening to him. People fight cancer and they get all this attention; people say how brave they are and how strong they are mentally for going through all the treatments. Like it's a normal thing. If someone tells you they're fighting cancer, they instantly get sympathy. You say you have epilepsy, and people push you away. Just like me – just like anyone who has never had a brush with epilepsy before, you don't understand how hard it is for someone to fight their way through it. At least with some cancers, you can fight and win. With epilepsy, you're constantly fighting. Justin constantly fights. He fights depression, embarrassment, the lack of control, utter disappointment, loneliness." I take a deep breath and shake my head. "You didn't even know Justin when you called him that. You shouldn't have said it to begin with. He's not weird, Sophs. He's amazing and I wish I could be as strong as him."

All three of them stare at me, wide-eyed, lips slightly parted. To be honest, I'm a little shocked with myself too. I've always had my own voice, but I've never been this vocal.

"I'm sorry," Sophia finally says. "Really. I know I shouldn't have said anything."

I stare at her for a moment. She really does look sorry, her eyes full of regret. The same goes for Jacey. And I'm not concerned about Nadira – she's been supporting my relationship since the beginning.

Exhaling, I nod my head. "Fine. Okay. Good. Sorry. I get defensive."

"Yeah, we can see that," Jacey mutters.

"So Justin's waiting for the results?" Nadira asks, changing the subject completely and neutralizing the tenseness.

"Yes," I nod, shooting her a sympathetic look. "He had the MRI yesterday. I'm trying to keep my attitude positive and make myself think that everything went okay, but the longer I go without hearing from him, the harder it is."

"It'll be okay," Nadira says, resting her hand on my wrist. "Even if he doesn't get the results he wants. Something good will always come out of something bad."

I smile at her weakly.

I'm just about to say something to Jacey and Sophia that will hopefully clear the remaining tenseness I'm still feeling, when my phone goes off.

I scramble for it.

"Hello?" I ask a little breathlessly.

"Hey," Justin replies. "What's up?"

I point to my phone and mouth Justin at my friends. They all nod, so I take that as my cue to leave the room so I can talk to him in private. I head to the mudroom. It's a weird place to go, but there's a bench to sit on, which is good enough for me. Besides, the downstairs is currently being renovated and I have a feeling the girls will walk in on my conversation if I were to go upstairs.

"I'm at Sophia's house with the girls. A sleepover."

"Nice," he replies.

"So?" I press. "How did it go?"

Justin's silent on the other end for several seconds. And with each on that passes, the knots in my stomach become tighter. I'm torn between which results I want. There are pros and cons to each. Although I hate it, I will admit I'm hoping the tumour is growing back. It's terrible, I know. I don't want him going through another surgery, but if that's the price he has to pay to have a chance at fighting this and winning, then so be it. It'll be hard, I know, but I'll be there for him and so will his mom and Chris and my parents. It'll be different than the last time.