Drarry Oneshots

Flopped

"Harry," Hermione said seriously, giving him a look that could rival Draco. "If you ever insinuate that I don't do this monthly again, I'll punch you in your new and improved uterus."

"It would probably be less painful than this," Ron said, his voice muffled by the table.

Draco showed his agreement by smacking his head against the table.

"Are we not going to tell them about the painkilling charms?" Ginny murmured.

"Of course not," Hermione said softly. "Harry and Ron made me play Quidditch with them while I was on my period, and complained because I wasn't 'into it.' They deserve this."

Luna just smiled.

Harry joined Draco in smacking his head down on the table.

*****************************

"Afternoon, boys," Hermione said cheerfully as Draco, Ron, and Harry sat down. "How are you?"

"I've ruined two pairs of jeans already," Harry said coldly.

Hermione frowned. "Aren't you using pads or tampons?"

Harry turned a dark red. Ron looked away. Draco sighed. "We don't know how they work."

"You've been going all day with no protection?" Ginny said, shocked. "Christ, you could have asked."

"We figured you would laugh at us," Ron mumbled.

Hermione snorted.

Luna dug around in her backpack until she pulled out a tampon. "This is a tampon. You unwrap it, and put it inside you, and then push on this part. That puts out the cotton part that absorbs the blood. Then you throw away the plastic part. Keep the tampon in for two or three hours, less if you start to leak through. There's a string you pull on to take it out."

Harry and Draco looked utterly horrified. Ron looked interested.

"So, does it feel good? Because you're putting something inside you?" he asked eagerly.

Hermione groaned, hitting her head against the table. Honestly, it was a surprise none of them had brain damage yet.

"No," Pansy said flatly as she sat down. "It doesn't feel good, no part of a period feels good. It feels like you're shoving fucking cotton up your vagina."

Ron winced. Harry and Draco's horrified faces appeared even more horrified.

"Or you can use a pad," Ginny offered. "You unwrap it and place it in the bottom of your underwear and it absorbs the blood."

"You don't have to stick it inside you?" Draco asked hopefully. Harry lifted his head, eyes brightening.

"Nope."

Harry and Draco relaxed. Ron studied the tampon with slight interest and slight disgust.

"I'll choose that option," Draco and Harry said in unison. Ron grabbed the tampon, looking curious. 

*****************************************

Harry hit his head against the table once more as he joined their group for breakfast.

"It's been two days of nothing but catcalling and asking to see what's under my skirt," he groaned. "I hate being a girl. Hermione, Ginny, Luna, when we're back to our normal bodies, I'm assigning each boy to form a protective squad to walk you to your classes, and I'm punching everyone who even looks at you like he's gonna say something."

Hermione smiled, opening her mouth to respond when Draco sat down with a huff.

"Men are pigs," he grumbled. "Zacharias Smith tried to take off my shirt. In the middle of the corridor!"

Hermione looked horrified. "That's sexual assault!" she cried.

Harry and Draco stared at each other for about six seconds before Harry stood up and ever so calmly walked over to the Hufflepuff table.

"Har-" Draco started to protest, but Ginny smacked her hand over his mouth.

"Creeps need to learn," she murmured.

Hermione nodded firmly, watching as Harry dragged Zacharias Smith out of his seat and wandlessly threw him into a wall.

"I didn't know he could do wandless magic," Draco said in wonder.

"Yeah. I'm assuming because of his-" Hermione sniggered. "heightened anger, that he's able to do it more effortlessly."

Draco barely heard her, eyes fixed on his boyfriend as Harry punched Zacharias in the face, harder than even Hermione had hit him third year.

"That's what you get for assaulting women!" Harry shouted, before he threw Zacharias against the opposite wall, right above the Great Hall doors. Smith crumpled to the floor, and Draco saw worry flash across Harry's face before Smith groaned and started to stand up.

Harry waved his hand, and the doors opened. He threw Smith through the doors, and then slammed them shut.

A moment later, Harry was back at the table, smiling slightly. "I think I'm more powerful as a woman."

"Hell yeah! Woman power!" Ginny cheered, high-fiving him.