My First Kiss

Brainwash Maybe

"Hey Mark!"

BamBam ran up to the eldest of the group, quickly hugging him. Mark smiled at him while turning around.

"Hey Bam, what's up?"

The boy shrugged his shoulders, bunching his lips towards the side.

"Bored."

The other turned back to the door of his room, unlocking it while speaking up.

"You can hang out with me for a while. I'm bored as well. Youngjae won't be back for a while since he's practicing with Jr."

BamBam smiled, nodding.

"Cool, alright."

They both walked into the room as he opened the door. He sat on his bed, and BamBam did the same.

"So what do you want to do?"

Mark had on an expression of thinking, exhaling not long after.

"Um, I want to talk to you about something."

The younger member gave a concerned face, looking at his friend oddly.

"Yeah sure, about what though?"

"About Jackson. But you must keep it between us, this conversation."

He nodded in understanding, crossing his legs on the bed. Mark continued his talking, getting comfortable as well as it was soon about to be the opposite.

"Well, it seems like Jackson is very fond of you. And not in a "you're my brother" type of way. But, more like "you're my lover" way. When I met you two in the hallway yesterday, I saw the kiss, well makeout session, that happened before that."

BamBam looked down, blushing deeply and heart rate picking up speed. Mark quickly smirked, but continued with his words.

"Yeah, I know. BamBam, did he uh, force you to do that?"

He quickly shot his head up in defense, waving his hands rapidly.

"Oh no! No I-"

"So you gave consent?"

"Of course! Well yes but, he made the first move. But I was completly fine with it!"

"Was?"

BamBam sighed in frustration.

"I am fine with it. Anyway, why are you talking to me about this? I said I was bored, not in need of an intervention."

Mark put his hand over BamBams', staring into his eyes deeply.

"Because, I want to make sure you are not being forced into any sexual acts. I am your hyung, your oldest member. I want to make sure you're safe and okay. Bam, you're a teen still, he is an adult-"

"And? I'm close to 18, which is the legal adult age."

"Close, but not yet. BamBam, think about what you're doing with Jackson. I'm not going against him or you. It's just- it's weird. Not you two both being male, but both of you are in the same group! I mean, doesn't that not affect you?"

BamBam pulled his hand away, sucking his teeth in annoyance and anger. He was becoming agitated by his words.

"Why should it? It was just a kiss, Mark. I'm not doing other things with him."

The other sighed with reluctance, asking another question.

"Well let me ask you this. Do you have feelings towards him?"

BamBam hated this question since he himself was confused about the answer.

"I do, but I just don't know if they're real. Like, I know they are there. But, are they true?"

"Well you shouldn't have feelings towards him, real or not."

The younger gave him a dirty look, crossing his arms.

"Oh? And why shouldn't I?"

"Because, you just shouldn't."

BamBam stood up abrubtly while walking towards the door.

"Let's hangout later Mark."

Bam opened the door, but the other slammed it shut. He was suddenly frightened by his behavior.

"Mark, what are you-"

"Leave Jackson alone and stop being all over him."

His teeth were in a grit lock as his voice was low; angry.

"W- What?"

"Dammit Bam! Do you really think he wants you?! He is fulfilling his satisfaction. He doesn't have feelings for you, you're his toy. Is your brain really that faded and blinded?!"

He looked down while shaking his head in confusion. His conscious was slowly but surely soaking up his words, eating away his emotions.

"Mark, why are you talking like this? Of course I'm not his toy-"

"BamBam!"

He pinned him against the door while shouting his name in anger, nearing his face with his teeth clenched.

"Don't you see it? Is he always trying to just have "fun" with you? Never really just sitting with you and talking?"

BamBam turned his head, looking away. He wanted to block out every word; denying the truth they hold.

"No, in fact the oppostite."

Mark smirked while shortly exhaling through his nose. He pulled away and muttered his few words for the conversation.

"Really? Find that hard to believe. Well-"

He paused his voice while backing away and taking a seat on his mattress.

"I tried to help you see through the bubble. But you refused to pop it and see the truth."

BamBam looked down once again, turning around to open the door. As he did, Mark called out to him.

"Good luck."

He scoffed at his last teasing words, walking out and closing the door with a harsh slam.

--

Jackson was scrolling through one of his social apps on his phone, showing BamBam a few comments from some fans.

"I feel as if they like you more than me."

He joked while staring at him. Bam nodded, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. Jackson paused in his activity and made a face of concern, setting his phone down in his lap.

"BamBam, what's wrong?"

The boy looked over at Jackson, inhaling with a downer affect.

"Jackson, am I a toy to you? Am I just for your amusement and satisfaction?"

The other quickly laughed without humor, hitting his arm lightly and moving closer to him on the bed.

"Why would you think that? Of course you're not."

BamBam shook his head, putting his hand up.

"Sorry."

"You didn't answer my question though. Why would you think that?"

He looked up while giving a fake smile.

"No reason, forget I even asked." He brushed him off.

BamBam took out his phone, acting like everything was fine. Jackson still looked at him with a straight face, thoughts ticking him off.

'Mark better not have anything to do with this'