My Thoughts

How...

I hate how I can't say any of this to your face. How sorry I am, how this is all my fault.
How even though I'm surrounded by all these amazing people, I feel completely alone because you're not one of them.
How completely heartbroken I feel, even though I'm the one that hurt you, and I'm the only one to blame.
How I miss you so fucking much I feel like the whole world just doesn't matter. You were at the center of my world, and now it's all just crumbling away.
How you still know me better than I know myself and know exactly how to make me feel better in a single moment, even if I walk away from it feeling even more sorry for myself than before.
How I have to live with the choice that I made, and the freak that I am, knowing we never had a chance, and that we will never be together again.
How desperate I am just to here your voice, feel your touch, look you in the eyes, but I can't without feeling completely lost and empty.
How much I hate myself without you.
How you were the only good part of me.
How you're the only one that truly understands.
How I love you, but I couldn't ever tell you that again, without reliving every moment we spent together.
How I can't possibly even think about getting over you, because I don't want to admit that it's over.
How I can't never tell you any of this, because it just isn't fair for both of us to suffer...