Hopelessly In Love

[5] - Memories

I must've been at the studio for at least 6 hours, because by the time I'd gotten home it was 10 at night. Madison had stayed over at Grayson's afterwards, leaving me home alone. I wasn't complaining though, I could really use this time alone to think.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my half naked body. I traced the tattoo beside my breast, which read "por siempre y para siempre" in tiny little font. It's Spanish for "forever and ever", a matching tattoo Ethan and I got. Except he got his on his upper thigh.

I recall that night.

flashback...

"Just hold still," Ethan mumbled as he pulled me a little bit closer.

"I don't want it to hurt." I whined, covering my bare breast with my arm.

"I'm never going to hurt you, baby," he cooed in my ear, which somehow soothes my nerves. He held the sewing needle in between his fingers, while I repositioned myself to I could get comfier on my bed.

"Okay, don't move." He said one last time, before he stuck the needle into me.

He held my hand, and I squeezed it for the pain. It went away after the third or fourth poke, and after that I didn't feel much besides a bit of pressure. It took a while though.

When he was finished, he smiled at his artwork.

"There," he kissed it, making me blush, "forever and ever we shall be."

I looked down at his tattoo on his thigh, and smiled to myself.

Forever and ever we shall be.

end of flashback

I wiped the tear from my cheek, little did I know back then. Forever doesn't last very long, I guess.

I glanced at my thigh, where the scar of my knife wounds would be. I got them removed due to my modelling, but I remember how much Ethan wanted me to praise them, to be proud that I'd survived and come out being amazing.

I still had a small one on my shoulder, it wasn't big enough to need to remove. But it's still yet another permanent reminder of Ethan. As if the tattoo wasn't enough.

I slumped back on my bed, fishing through the boxes that need to be emptied. I found the photos from New Years, I found the photos from my birthday. I remember how much he loved polaroids, how it was our little thing.

I held them gently towards my heart, giving them a squeeze as if I was hugging Ethan. Gosh, that boy has ruined me. We weren't even together for a year. Yet, I feel so connected to him, I'm so dependant on him to make me happy.

I outlined it as teenage love. How you think you're in love, but really, it's just a crush.

But I've ruled that one out now. I just don't know what to do anymore.

And the most embarrassing thing is, he probably doesn't even care about me anymore.

ethan's p.o.v

I can't believe I let go a girl who was one in a billion. More than a billion. She was my one. How could I have been so stupid? I loved her, and I still do.

I know she's got someone, and thinking about her like this is so wrong. But when have we ever done anything right? Our whole relationship was just so up and down, but that's what I fell in love with. What I am in love with.

I looked down at the tattoo on my thigh, which I usually cover up with really heavy foundation my stylist found for me. It would be embarrassing if Elena saw it, she's already gotten rid of hers.

But I could never bring myself to get rid of it.

This way, she'll always be apart of me. Whether in text form, or in my heart. Forever and ever.

She probably hates me, and just doesn't want to show it. I mean, she left at such a hard time in her life, and here I am pretending she doesn't exist for the following two years?

But maybe there could be hope in us.

Little does she know, I never stopped thinking of her. So bad, that I kept in contact with her mom. She promised she wouldn't tell Elena, because she'd probably already moved on. But her mom kept me in loop with what was going on, but it only made me miss her more.

I saw snow form outside my window, which startled me because it never snows in California, it hardly even rains. Especially since it's almost Spring.

I keep trying to distract myself from Elena, but somehow she always manages to sneak into my mind.

elena's p.o.v

"And then he drove me to the studio." I bit my lip.

"And how do you feel now?" Justin asked, through FaceTime.

I was laying in bed - still in my undergarments - and was on the phone with Justin, who was also in bed. I was explaining to him about Ethan, though I did leave out some details.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I mean, I'm still hurt, obviously. It's like he tossed away everything we had, like it was some high school fling.

He nodded, telling me to continue.

"Maybe that's all it was. Just some high school relationship, bound to end, but I was stupid enough to get caught in his love."

"Don't beat yourself up over this," Justin frowned, "he's clearly missing out on so much. I mean, god dammit, you're fucking Elena Salgado! I'm lucky enough to be fake dating you, cause damn!"

I chuckled at his words, I'm so glad to have someone like Justin with me. Especially through times like this.

"What I'm trying to say is," he calmed down, "if he really knows what's good for him, he'd come back. Whether you'd take him back or not, it's up to you, but if he's not as stupid as we're making him out to be, he'll come back."

"But I don't know if I want him back," I mumbled as I shut my eyes.

It's all getting to my head. Why should I want him back? He clearly doesn't care of what we had, and the way he left me that day? How he ignored me all these years?

"Just try to sleep, beautiful, clear your mind and we'll talk in the morning." Justin sweetly said, and I nodded.

"Goodnight, baby." He whispered. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't. The last thing I heard was, "I love you."

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